Life was good.
and pure and wistful.
the sun was hott.
the grass green.
a field...a field in which to frolic.
we sat on a dirt hill.
and did what we did,
well...because we're country kids.
we laid in the grass.
and laughed.
a laugh so loud, and uninhibited that it was pure.
pure happiness.
pure love.
pure beauty.
that's what we were.
where we were.
who we where.
and that's how i will always remember you.
us.
and a part of me will remember that pure love forever.
it was young and it was innocent.
and it was us.
and pure is this.
without forced words, or metaphors
or similes or flowery language.
the lines are simple.
the point is sharp.
the poem is life.
and the words are instances.
sometimes they are just pure.
just simple and uncomplicated.
why over personify and describe something that doesn't need it?
Author notes
::September 2007::
A contest entry
- Prewrite Plethora by TheDemonEve.
1100 points, ended May 30, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
The last line kind of sounds like it could be moved to author's notes? So at first I hated the background but this shade of green actually suits the poem well. Good use of repetition.
-
I have to say you won me over. Quite the sales pitch, and yet it was genuine. Lovely feeling in this poem. I don't much like the last line, but otherwise this is fantastic. Very nicely done.
Best of luck and thanks for entering!
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