ahhh' this big river
of laugh and cry through seasons
don't let it run dry
Author notes
Haiku
A contest entry
- 7000 HAIKU by DogFish.
1800 points, ended May 13, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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I managed to get this one =)
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each day broader and deeper
flowing slowly to the sea
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Hey thanks DogFish... I admit I found this challenging. Mmm... may well have another try at some point, so thanks for the introduction. Sol
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I do love the feelings flowing from your pen...to laugh are to cry may they never run dry...beautiful and a winner for sure:f:f:f
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I 'burble like a brook'
Thanks a lot Tender wolf!
I'm no expert at haiku and the enormity of the title leaves me feeling like I've burbled... heh' more like a tiny brook (that'll be 'creek' I guess) than a river.
Good lesson in humility though, so it stands as is and I'm well pleased that you like it. Sol
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you do have big love... indeed
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You are so generous towards me. X
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silly man... it's true..
G.X
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ahhh' i see you are still so undecided!
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That's it now, a humbling trickle to remain.
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Tears and smiles!...WONDERFUL!...Best of luck in this contest. It's a winner to me... Peace, Rhonda
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Kokopelli are great!
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the river of laugh and cry..what a grand image! I see by your comments you've fought the rapids with this one. Good luck in the contest!
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Thanks NeonRose.
I'm still a little dissatisfied, because the title is far grander than the effort!
There's more to this haiku business it seems than I'd imagined.
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First one... love that
You brought it back from senryu to haiku wonderfully.
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Thanks, done!
words just come themselves (but it wasn't like that this time)
without now interfering
let them lie on page... indeed.
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Nice haiku, I would almost suggest taking the word life out of that first line, let it stand unspoken? Though, that's not entirely necessary
Just a thought.
Never runs dry, indeed.
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Thanks...
I'm still not happy with it and see what you mean about 'Life'
could put 'mmmm' or ...
I think I now have about five on the go, all in need
Was originally 'not yet to run dry'
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no punctuation in haiku hun... well, not in traditional...
it's a bit like yoda speak at times
but this is beautiful nevertheless ... sigh
rivers of time to run into the estruary of love
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I might well change it yet
oh dear punctuation eh'mmmmm
thank you very much
its my first attempt
writing haiku for today
give me my gold prize!
Life fish river fly
through the seasons laugh and cry
love never run dry
Life; a river flow
of laugh and cry through seasons
never to run dry
Life is a river flow
of laugh and cry through seasons
not yet to run dry
words just come themselves
without now interfering
let them lie on page.
stop and die to states
your mind now in meander.
come to meet the Real
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Tanka
For reasons I can't define
I'm so glad you flow through mine.
X
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Very nice Thank you...
I'm glad we are still flowing
subject, knowledge and knowing.
X
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Oh, too clever!
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clever both of you!
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