How is it that she crushes me
and expects me not cry?
She expects me to act normal
when she is with that other guy.
I spent 4 months with only her,
my love flowed deep and true,
but in the end she put me down
and left me feeling blue.
My tears show her my weakness,
they show her my defeat.
They tell her who won the war
and who's crying in the street.
As I lie here in this open vastness,
deserted, abandoned, alone,
I do my best not to think about
those late talks on the phone.
I will not let her see the pain
that each memory stirs.
I will not let myself remember
when my heart was hers.
Author notes
Written December 18th, 2003
A contest entry
- Your first love!! by mango peachie.
300 points, ended December 26, 2003, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Great
great poem i love keep it up!
You can really express yourself well done -
I love this poem. This is exactly what happened to me, only the genders are reversed. I'm sorry you had to go through it.
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i love the emotion brought across in this poem... really strong.
there was one line i thought could be stronger... "she left me feeling blue"... blue, to me, means a little sad, down in the dumps sort of thing... just as a thought, you don't have to change it.
i can really relate to the last few stanzas of this....
"As I lie here in this open vastness,
deserted, abandoned, alone,
I do my best not to think about
those late talks on the phone.
I will not let her see the pain
that each memory stirs.
I will not let myself remember
when my heart was hers. "
as if trying to forget the memories, but you can't... and then you're in such pain, but you can't show it. and the other person acts like everythings perfect.
anywayz, great job! i could really relate! good emotion.
good luck in the contest!
~Caroline~
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