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Banished

Photobucket

 

 

Sculpted perfection of angelic structure

Fallen from grace; he awaits his fate

For desire captured his soul and lingered;

unable to deny his burning thoughts,

he descends to feast on female form

 

Ravishing beauty before him, he indulges

Tasting sweet skin and taunt flesh

Devouring her curves with luscious lust

Aching to feel the flow of passion,

his need releases within her

 

His wings now blackened with burnt sin

Sweat soaked body bowed in penance;

he stands before the alter of atonement

 

Banished to the earth for eternity

He smiles...

      ... a life of carnal pleasure awaits

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Pic, 15 Lines

(holy moly on the pic!!! lol)

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • chiefmac
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    Very lusty and forms the poem and picture match perfectly, but, will stand on their own. The pacing and flow increase the readers rhythm to follow the narrators intensity. Great ending-to suffer banished to earth for a life of carnal pleasure- There are worse things-smile-


  • Weltt gold member
    May 17
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful piece here! loved your word choices and the flow of this. grats on the bronze!

  • Wow! The picture in it's self is hott as hell! But your describing poem really makes this a masterpiece! Great take! Congrats on the bronze hun!


  • aboomer silver member
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    Well, there's not much I can say about this that hasn't already been said....I love it! Great wording and loved the ending!...lol...not punishment at all.
    Congrats on the Bronze.


  • Swangrnv
    May 6

    Edit | Reply

    you sure semmed

    inspired writing this piece! l.o.l. you go girl! I love your naughty side it's always so...NAUGHTY! L.O.L. GOOD WORK LADY!


  • unsigned gold member
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    Looks like I missed another brilliant prompt...well I am glad I did because if this only got 3rd I would have really struggled..

    Well done my Twin

    Magnificent

    Unsigned
    ~
  • Congrats on the bronze!

    I love this, damn girl! That ending is so awesome!! An enjoyable punishment why can't they all be like that Fantastic piece hunni, congrats on the bronze
    Oh gotta bookmark this one

  • Ohh I reckon it should have got more then gold lol, excellent descriptive writing Congrat's


    Cin

  • lizziepie
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is super!
    this is possibly the best poem i've read on here and i've read a lot of good poems on here!
    i hope you win the contest!
    you certainly get my vote!!!
    keep up the great work!

  • At the risk of sounding like a broken record when it comes to commenting on your work..again, it's fabulous!!! As always!


    Linda

  • Wow,

    A very good entry you have here sweet soul.
    Thanks for sharing, a captivating read indeed!
    All the best within the contest, very well crafted.

    Peace, Timothy

  • lol.. just like a guy would be really.. don't matter that he got kicked out of heaven just as long as he got some I really liked this.. kind of dark, with a sensual side to it.. well done.. best of luck..

    Angel

  • azlyn gold member
    May 5
    Edit | Reply
    SIS! Your talent never ceases to amaze me!!!

    Blessed Be~
    Sue

  • and so my grin broadens. makes me remember why I am still here .....The imagery and flow are excellent and paint a slighty dark sensuality... The last lines are potent and finish the poem well...Great poem


  • buffsab99 silver member
    May 5

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This is such a wonderful softly sensual piece. Your muse is alive and well. Well done
    Banished to the earth for eternity

    He smiles...

    ... a life of carnal pleasure awaits
    What a way to spend eternity

  • New Zealand politics is very complicated!

1 - 19 of 19