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Day Dream

Staring off into space
Through a window, a cloud, a wall
Not seeing anything yet seeing everything
Thoughts dance lazily through the mind
Conjuring images of all things loved
All things wanted
All things needed
The feel of a lovers kiss
A cool breeze in a peaceful meadow
A picnic with a long lost friend
You feel the caring touch,
The gentle breeze,
The warm hug
The scent of flowers, grass, fresh rain
The sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze
Careless laughter
A lovers breath

Then an intrusive jolt, yell, demand
You're back in reality
Left longing
Happy
Or peaceful
The wonders of a day dream

Author notes

some more of my work i found going through some files

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Comments


  • Nobody Important
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    that kicks ass, i dig your imagination


  • Kari gold member
    May 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome To AP

    Hello EternallyEternity,

    Ah very nice! This reminds me of a old movie called
    " The Rear Window ". He saw everything that happened in his block from his window! lol.

    I have a couple of suggestions.

    One thing, the word " a " is repeated a lot in the first paragraph.

    Maybe do something like :
    Through a window, cloud, and wall

    Another suggestion. Instead of having all repeated twice you could do :
    All things wanted and needed

    You do have a few other things that you could do along those lines.
    That will take away some of the repetition of the smaller words.

    I really did enjoy the imagery in this piece all together. You've nailed that!

    Kari,
    Site Greeter


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How nice you found it...it is most lovely and so endearing! I need to do that as well...I have countless notebooks filled with poems of the past! I enjoyed this so much!

    Az