I pass these days of
Depression
Like a
Sickly ghost, pale and
Nonexistent.
I shrink from the sunshine and
Blossom in the shadows,
My transparent skin rots away,
Layers upon layers
Peeling downward towards
The floorboards.
I use the veins
Across the back of my hands
As maps. Tiny twisting roads,
The paths to the reason
Behind my existence;
They make it seem much too important.
Some days I imagine myself drifting
On a boat down rivers of
Blood and ink.
I am the captain, of course,
For only I know the turns and distortion
Of my own veins by heart.
I studied those lovely pulsing rivers
Every night
Like a scientist.
I was determined to reveal the
Truths of life, for it seemed
Not possible I was living.
[As dead as dead can be, the doctor tells me.]
My existence is questionable,
An apparition or a mortal
I could not tell you.
I often escape myself, rising
Through my skin and towards the stars,
But I always fall back down.
Falling is punishable,
Such a horrid crime,
But I commit it; I don’t know why.
And scratches appear on my body soon after I fall.
Disappointed, I swear I don’t do it.
I itch to find a solution to my
Dysfunction, a way to
Find my soul (it must be here somewhere.)
I separate my ribs, set
Them in neat lines next to me.
And I tear apart my entire
Skeleton,
Reordering my bones so they
Fit together a little better. (They didn’t fucking assemble me right...)
I put the finished remains
On display.
I yearn to rectify my
Existence.
There is a need somewhere,
Growling deep inside my chest,
To systematize
My organs,
Reinforce my veins,
Cut away the uselessness.
(Or maybe just get rid of everything.)
I must be a phantom.
Author notes
Uhh. horrible again.
I'm sorry. Poetry isn't easy anymore.
A contest entry
- Enrapture and Intoxicate by FlipperSwitch.
670 points, ended May 13, 2008, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's My Birthday! by SliptheFlitch.
1750 points, ended May 28, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
---------> Beauty
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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****
very well done, I appreciate the beauty and the pain. Graphic and true to form, thank you for entering
~Slip~ -
I am in love with this poem. Your imagery and vocabulary fits so amazingly with the emotion...it's like a very slow moving story that makes me lightheaded and foggy. Thank you very much for entering.
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that was not horrible that was very very good
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Great
Your a good writer, and i know how is feels to have those days when you think your poetry sucks, but you are an awesome writer ^_)))
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good
This is a very deep and good poem.
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sarah this isn't horrible at all! what are you thinking!...augh your such an amazing writer...open your eyes and see the true beauty of your work...keep writing darling...ill try and made one for you...
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