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Sage Dreams of the Cante Tinza

Across these barren hills tonight
The wind whispers their names
In shadowed star beams of wingless flight
Two more flare into flames

Cante Tinza come gather ‘round
Open ears so you may hear
Tatanka Yotanka tell of dreams
and Tashunka Witco confront fear

Where have all the Strong Hearts vanished?
Has Pine Ridge been in vain?
Come brothers, smoke from the canupa
Bring them all back home again!

~~*~~

Oyate kinhan kawitaya au yunkan
tuwela seca k'un hel opa sni yelo.
Nita kola heyape lo.

(Lakota Memorial Song for lost warriors

When people come to a celebration,
Someone is not among them.
Your friends have said so.)

~~*~~

Painted ponies churn sacred ground
As lightning laced the sky
Feathered warriors make no sound
As each prepares to ride

Echoed drums incite the silence
Embers of sage smudge the past
Warriors gallop in the distance
Oh, the forces they’ve amassed!

~~*~~

An old man sits upright in bed
His eyes still closed in dream
The battle rages inside his head
Against the white regime

He calls to them across the ages
Brothers from an ancient past
Deep in his chest the fire rages
They have come for him at last

He whispers,

Aké iyuskinyan wancínyankelo kola
(I am glad to see you again my friend)

~~*~~








Author notes

Cante Tinza - Strong Heart Society of the Lakota (Sioux)
Tatanka Yotanka - Sitting Bull, Lakota Medicine Man/Mystic
Tashunka Witco - Crazy Horse, Lakota War Chief
Canupa - pipe



As with all my poetry, I appreciate constructive feedback so that I can improve as a writer. Please give it to me straight, I'm a big boy, I can take it.

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Comments

1 - 39 of 39

  • The Sage
    September 14

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    Simply Wonderful!

    Great write! the rhyming was excellent , and the form itself was superb.


  • LameJames silver member
    July 6

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    Excellent Work

    I swear I could hear soft drums as I read.

    Really very good work here. The second stanza is my favorite for simple sound factor. The phonetic flow is amazing throughout.

    I do however think that your explanation of Lakota Memorial Song interrupts the flow. It seems to detract from everything else that's working for this poem. I would suggest letting it stand alone, trust the reader to do some homework.


  • the charmed one
    July 4
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    wow amazing poem


  • therenaissancegirl
    July 4

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    Very authentic, I love the Native American flava and the imagery is fantastic. Native American ANYTHING is rare nowadays, which sucks because their culture and history is so rich, so thank you


  • just mercedes gold member
    July 4

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    What can I say? Great presentation, imagery, poetic devices, rhythm and rhyme. A wonderfully sympathetic handling of myth and legend, tied into now through the old man, so the reader can feel how belief still exists, and our sense of lineal time is at best a flimsy construct.


  • Andre ben-YEHU
    July 4

    Edit | Reply

    Wise-Wonderful...



    Outstanding story-poem... "Sage Dreams of the Cante Tinza" painted with the color of the rainbow of knowledge.

    I have enjoyed the reading of "Sage Dreams of the Cante Tinza".

    In gratitude,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU


  • ScottishPrincess silver member
    July 4

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    Love this just love it and beautiful too!
    Love the background too...Happy 4th...Hazel


  • condor gold member
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    An absolutely wonderful piece of reading as always. You again have shown me things of the native peoples and sung their sad refrains for them. Beautiful in all its aspects...perfect flow and rhythm and rhyme. I especially loved the way you spoke a verse in the indian tongue and then translated it for us. That was a great touch to this piece and it certainly gave me something to smile about. Thank you again for another delight.


  • Predaw
    March 10
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    Hellz yeah. A first That I actually enjoyed until the very end. (In my contest anyway.) Thanks!


  • Simone Brooklyn
    December 22, 2008

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    This is great! I really enjoyed the uniqueness of this poem, I haven't read one like it yet. I love the way you described all of these people, and their cultures. Thank you for entering, this was wonderful to read!


  • YesterdaysDreams
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An old man sits upright in bed
    His eyes still closed in dream
    The battle rages inside his head
    Against the white regime

    He calls to them across the ages
    Brothers from an ancient past
    Deep in his chest the fire rages
    They have come for him at last

    He whispers,

    Aké iyuskinyan wancínyankelo kola
    (I am glad to see you again my friend)


    My goodness, this is just awesome. I cant find any other way to describe this work of art..

    ~Kim


  • Rakerman1
    September 26, 2008

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    Excellent writing. Such noble people who endured such unthinkable injustices.

    Very well done and thanks for entering
    Raker


  • upperworld06
    August 18, 2008

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    amazing, u must have done a lot of research or you just know a lot about the natives. i'm working on a book with the algonquin and sioux tribes now, although it's fiction. good luck in the contest


  • owlish
    August 18, 2008

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    Wow! Beautiful piece, with stunning imagery and great rhyme. Good idea, using some Native American words and names. The background fits nicely. Great rhyme and everything.

  • piccola silver member
    August 15, 2008
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    nothing here for me to critique, great write with good imagery and flow.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    August 13, 2008

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    WOW!

    This is an absolute beautiful piece of writing! I love the rhyme, the flow, thestory! the story? wow, what an intriguing story you have told, great, and this seems to me should have been gold!


  • dustookie2
    June 10, 2008

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    Great background/border. Another excellent piece to read and I thank you for the pleasure. Much has already been said about this poem although i usually like to leave comment this time i just thank you for the pleasure.

  • piccola silver member
    June 3, 2008

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    "many promises the white man made and one of them he did keep. He promised to take our land and he did." "I will fight no more forever" ... such a proud and wonderful people. I have 1/8 Cherokee in my blood and it is the fraction of which I am most proud. Thank you for entering.


  • Nature Song silver member
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A Lakota memorial song. As the drums beat in the distance, he awakens from his dream. Those riding in the distance that he will soon join. His heart beats stong, as only a warrior can do.

    Nice piece of history, and a honored tale of those fallen during the raides and wars of the past.

    ~Sie


  • jamiedoring
    May 21, 2008

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    Amazing write....I dont even know what else to say except I need to get some people (my friends) over here to read this...

    Truly captivating as I have grown to expect from your writes (yeah, no pressure, but I totally EXPECT it now, lol....anything less than captivating from you simply wont fly!) GREAT job!

    Jamie


  • Falstaff
    May 15, 2008

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    Awestruck

    This piece sings to me! I hear the voice of the soul in the rhythms of the earth and sky. Wonderful!


  • Kajihenge Yoko
    May 15, 2008
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    Excellent

    The rhyme and rythym of this poem is exceptional. You really painted a nice imagery in my mind.


  • Sagerider
    May 15, 2008
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    Great write

    I really enjoyed this, we share some of the same heroes.


  • xCandieKissesx
    May 14, 2008

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    All I have to say is WOW! The imagery and flow were awesome. It was so compelling and powerful. It made me read more and more! Love it! Great stuff you got here. Keep it up!!

    + Jackie


  • malmadre gold member
    May 14, 2008

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    I can only imagine the pain in the hearts of the generations, born long since the injustices against their people. The imagery and thought put into this writing is so touching, each verse a beautiful creation...and the background is a masterpiece.
    Invasion and driving people from their homes is wrong no matter what country..


  • vici377
    May 13, 2008

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    FRIGGING AWESOME

    constructive criticism ...don't know where I can help you out there..this is wow..I am sitting here with goosebumps...which is what good poetry is supposed to do..thanx so much for sharing...blessings..namaste..will be bookmarked..


  • SevenDeadlySins
    May 13, 2008

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    Awesome

    Thoughtsull, creative, and deffinatly heart-felt. That's awesome. And it's truth, every word you write. As part of the Native American heritage myself, I began to cry while I read this, remebering what my people have felt before. Thank you so much fo expressing this in such a way.

    Not to mention your knowledge. I am impressed by the mixture of words in this. That too, in my opinion makes it a exceptional poem.


  • borrowing.moonlight gold member
    May 13, 2008

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    wow very creative, i'm not really sure what to say as this type of thing or topic is not in my area of knowledge... but as i clicked on it out of interest i suppose i should leave a comment ^^ if nothing else, it was at least very well written even if i personally dont understand it thats not your fault hun lol its mine. either way nicely done because even i can appreciate talent when i see it. keep penning


  • BabyBun silver member
    May 8, 2008

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    You write with a truth that is truly captivating. I have always been interested in Native Americans.


  • Robin Candor
    May 7, 2008

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    Again you strike with words and attitudes of long gone souls bringing them to life once more. I think lowell Poe summed it best even though all comments were great. I noticed that JWGoethe comments on you as well. Another kindred spirit for me of late. Not to change the subject, but have you notice how many of our freshman class here at AP are gone? It kind of shook me at first but I'm over it. I wish I could write as you can on subjects such as this. Your knowledge of these subjects puts you in a special position. You have the genuine ability to share stories and ideals with us that we would not learn about otherwise. If you were a crappy writer it wouldn't matter, but you're not. RC


  • mythological-mouse
    May 7, 2008

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    I love native american lore. I have some NA in me, but very little, and it doesn't show at all. Large part of our country's history, but everyone seems to want to forget it...sad.


  • LittleMoon silver member
    May 7, 2008

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    What an amazing write my friend. So much history in here, ghosts of the past of strong men and the haunting of their wise words that all came true. The agony they lived through to see their way of life destroyed for no reason that they could make sense of. Your words have brought their spirits back as they still try to put right the dreadful wrongs done to their people in the name of greed.


  • Lowell Poe
    May 7, 2008

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    Ghosts of warriors live in this piece.
    Can we hold our heads high knowing the injustice that was brought upon them by this fledgling government.
    Your work forces the reader to think as the characters you portray in your writing....I am now ready [when reading your work]...to step out side myself...to walk in another's shoes. I would like to laughingly think to myself that you are not in the poetry realm... but the transportation realm...the words, simply a tool to take the reader just where you are at....This is what makes your work so wonderful.
    So glad I found you here...I even called my wife in to read this one.....she loved it...lol

    MANY BLESSINGS MY FRIEND,
    LOWELL POE


  • RedAquarius
    May 6, 2008

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    Love it, love the ending as the fallen come to claim the old man and it is a welcoming, not a fearful ending. The vignette formatting makes it stronger, giving each section its own place and honor. And the inclusion of the Lakota seems obvious (in a good way) - I cannot imagine this work without those words.


  • FullMetalAlchemist
    May 6, 2008
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    very good it kicked me in the testicles with knowledge

  • Bad Bill
    May 6, 2008

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    This is a really satisfying piece which works on every level, and I especially like the inclusion of the Lakota language--this adds authenticity and authority to the poem. You definitely possess bardic qualities, Rory!

    Bill

  • tara wilson gold member
    May 5, 2008

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    I love this...particularly the last 'vignette' of the old man..thanks for sharing your beautiful poetry & stories with us

  • JWGoethe
    May 5, 2008

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    I'llgive it to you straight (the only way I know how) This is brilliant,glorious, and expressed flawlessly. Icouldn't imagine a more perfectly expressed poem, reflective of one of the greatest shame's to lay upon the historic heart of these United States. Bravo.


  • frownsnfreckles
    May 5, 2008

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    It's hard for me to provide any constructive criticism as I am English and don't know enough about the subject to comment.
    However I enjoyed reading the poem very much as such histories are best kept alive in an oral language which poetry suits so well. The memory of noble souls should never be lost, never before have they been so needed by the young.

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