As the manna in the desert
you rest sweetly 'gainst my skin
Just enough for this single day
gathered to me...close, within
Shelter from the cold
when tears freeze on my face
And a flame to light my spirit
help me rise, from a dark place
The days I spend with you
never end, they carry along
Just as the singular melody
placed within the sweet love song
My arms cannot encompass
nor my spirit quite comprehend
All these days I'll hold forever
Spent with you, my muse, my dearest friend...
Author notes
Contest quote: I want to hold the days in my arms forever especially the days I spent with you.....Unknown.
A contest entry
- the days I spent with you..... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended May 19, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please be honest, but gentle...thanks
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
So beautiful!
Loved the timing of this & your rhyming was great! Wonderful take on the prompt. Nice work deserving of that trophy.
There's a fine continuity & flow to the entire poem, but I especially like the way you began:
As the manna in the desert
you rest sweetly 'gainst my skin
Just enough for this single day
gathered to me...close, within
Bravo!
-
Beautiful
This is a hauntingly breath taking poem, your rhyme and flow of words makes it extra special. I can feel the want and longing in your words,the promise of love forever to hold on to
-
the thread of romance through the needle of spiritual...amazing...i really enjoyed it..best of luck in the contest...thank you for creating a wonderful poem.
-
Honest but gentle. OK, this is really good. It seems like you think of this person as a necessity, like the manna, something that gives you life? I dunno, seems romantic but more spiritual to me. What ev, hope you do well in this contest. WAM
-
Beautiful....
Wow lovely write passionate imagery.
-
Excellent
My arms cannot encompass
nor my spirit quite comprehend
All these days I'll hold forever
Spent with you, my muse, my dearest friend...
Beautiful end to a lovely verse
Very touching
Rick
-
Gold. This is pure gold.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
