[removed due to content] and just so you know, this is just how i'm feeling right now. cause i honestly don't get it. okay? it's been on my mind since before 10th grade let out.
how anti social can one group of people be?
you leave me out of everything, so no wonder i left and found someone who actually likes me.
you never ever want to hang out. it's like pulling teeth.
how the fuck am i supposed to spend a week with any of you, if we don't even hang out now?
i don't feel like i'm a part of your 'elite group'.
i never felt like i was a part of your group.
you all just stare at me like i'm some sort of outsider.
do you all secretly hate me for finding a woman i was crazy for?
do you all resent me because i'm still friends with said woman even though we're not dating?
is it some other reason? what, 'cause i made hoover sad?
news for y'all, you'll never know what the fuck was running through my mind.
i seriously, in all reality, do not feel like i belong at all with you guys.
you seem like something so far from me...unattainable.
you don't really all suck, no, it's just that i feel i'm not up to your standards or something...i don't know. i wish i was.
the only standards i've ever felt i were up to were those of mi little Blue chica...guess that's why we're always chilling together. bffs, that's why.
but the rest of you, when i'm near you i feel like a burden.
tell me. why am i the pariah in this sea of souls?
Author notes
=/ just say it.
*growls from my corner*
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
Yeah, well your mom is a whore.
Don't you love how humor stops you from exploding with indignant anger?
Alyssa is awesome. Why with the displaying accusations online, Jess? Work on your people skills, por favor. Approach. Speaking is good for understanding.
Thank you, please drive through. -
You know, I always thought that within the walls of our friends we were the safest and that when one of us had a problem they could come to us. Work it out, not attack with no warning and rather viscously at that. We love you and always have and I'm sorry that you seem to feel this way, I don't understand because we have left you out of nothing and last I checked it was Dani and me helping you while you cried on the bathroom floor and everyone else trying to hug you when bad things occured. We don't hate her and never have and none of us have ever thought to leave you out. So maybe next time you should check reality before you go making such harmful and painful comments about those who have done nothing other than love and support you.
-
-
what i don't get is how you see it as an attack. it is not.
-
-
i love you! i know peaople change, and stuff happens that people seem far away. my gawd, i've gone through it too. but your awesome in my book. i luv chillin with you, digiorno and all. lmao. know everyone else probably phrased all this better, but im not one for words. but im here for ya
-
-
to tell you the truth, you actually phrased it best in my book. i love ya too. and thanks. i'm here for you too.
-
-
Dani phrased it well. Things change, as do people. It's hard to accept sometimes, unfortunately.
I guess, in a sense, I was lucky for moving so much, since people going their own ways was nothing new to me. But to people who've lived in the same place all their lives, and are getting ready to graduate with people they've known since kindergarten, it's a bit scarier of a proposition. Hell, it was hard enough for ME to go my own way after graduating, so I can imagine that it's harder for people in that situation.
Things change, as do people. But at the end of the road, you always remember where you came from. Home is home, just remember that. People may be busy, they may be tired, but they're still the person you came to know.
-Kevin -
I understand what you're going through. it's like we're all going our own ways, and it's scary and can seem quite lonely, we're all going through it. I hope to plan some group things later so we can all hang out like old times. There's tension and it needs to be released. I get where you're coming from when you wrote this, i guess ppl ( like me) reacted badly because it seemed like we were being attacked, and i know that wasn't your intention.
::hugs:: all is well
Daniela -
-
i'm glad you understand, my dear. you weren't being attacked at all.
i'm glad that we'll get to have some group things later on. it's just so weird seeing everyone going off to bigger and better places.
*hugs*
-
-
you know..I find it extremely shocking that you make Blue out to be some angel of light, who is so ever accepting of you...well frankly it didn't seem that way when you were crying your eyes out on the bathroom floor..but then again that's just me. I am truly hurt by your accusations and I can't even imagine how you can think some of these theories (like us being resentful) can be true. I am your friend you know that. This is a busy year I told you that. To think that we avoid you...well that's just a little self centered, it has nothing to do with you, life is intense right now. It's the end of an era and we have yet to tie loose ends. We definitely do not avoid you. We love you. I am so sorry that you feel this way, and that you would say such hurtful things.
Daniela. -
-
love, i'm just trying to get my emotions out. i really feel abandoned by you guys and have felt this way for a long time.
i don't make her out as great. i just put her in as an exception thing cause i dunno. she talks to me a lot more than most of the group. like i dunno. i say hi to some people and they look at me like i have radioactive things dripping off me.
i know you love me, hun. and i'm sorry if you were hurt by some of the things i've said. there's a lot going on in my head and i just needed to get some things out. like i'm really not liking how everything is ending and everyone is leaving. idk..maybe you understand? sorry if i made you upset.
-
-
I'm not gonna take sides one way or another on this one. I will point out that often times, a lot more good can be done by raising the question to the people involved themselves. A lot less likely to be misconstrued or to start a fight. And more likely to get something done.
I've been in a situation like the one you describe before, just with different people. I'm only giving you advice based on what I probably should've done. -
-
i didn't actually realize there were sides here. like, i'm just asking the question here if i should even bother anymore.
but thank you for the advice, regardless.
-
-
There are no standards in our group. Otherwise we wouldn't talk to the Ryans and whatnot. Whatever your issue is, it's in your head... unless I am so oblivious to the world like most people, which I don't think I am. If you feel like your so out of the loop, then it's probably your own doing. Whenever we do happen to hang out, you always prefer to hang with Alyssa and them, so don't blame us when it's really you who is too 'elite' (as you say) for us.
And besides, if you thought we sucked so much, then why would you care?
No one cares that you 'made me sad', that's over and done with. Live your own life for once and stop worrying about everyone else's opinions of you.
And if the only standards you are up to are Blue's then why does she make you cry so much? Why does she make you feel like shit half the time? -
-
and do you guys like hate Blue or something? cause it seems like when i got a girlfriend you all seemed distant. again, i just want answers.
-
-
I don't hate Blue. But I'm sorry that I don't particularly care for her after seeing you so hurt so many times by her. Sorry for trying to stick up for a friend.
I know you're just asking questions, typically when a question is asked, it gets answered. But I guess you mean that you weren't looking for an answer from me.
And everyone's equal here Jess, so stop acting like I'm trying to be above you. Again, I was just responding to the terrible things you said. I guess I'll just ignore you from now on if that will make you happy. -
-
you really take everything i say and twist it, don't ya?
and how was anything that i said terrible? i'm just asking if you guys even want me around cause i haven't felt like i really belong in quite a long time.
okay? i'm not saying that you all should go to hell or anything. i do care for every single one of you. it's just on my mind, man. -
-
First off, I want to say that I now understand your reasons for feeling this way. I just wish you could have shown it differently because the way you wrote this letter made it seem like an attack. So please don't blame us for seeing it as such.
Second, I just want to ask why you always get so defensive with me when I'm saying the same things as everyone else. Daniela reacted the same way I did and her comment wasn't much different from mine yet you chose to react angrily to me but nice and friendly to her. Why is that? -
-
read your first paragraph in your first post. your post seems like an attack, in my opinion. that's why i reacted angrily to yours.
-
-
-
-
-
how am i acting too elite for you? i always try to include you guys with everything.
maybe i'm up to no one's standards then, right? cause you're so high above me.
does it kill to ask a few questions? apparently for you it does.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
