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Strong

You destroyed my inks so my voice would wither away
You stomped out my honor and hope fell into decay
You dominated all my routes so I could not run away
You broke everything within me, so I swore I'd make you pay

Now I've come back to life
And you don't understand why

I am bigger, I am faster
I am better than ever before
I am braver, I am wiser
Now I'm more than you bargained for

You tried every little thing you could put me through
And because of that, I will always be stronger than you

Author notes

This is definitely not one of my stronger works, but it helped me get out something that was really digging at me, so I figure it served its purpose.

Was it too mediocre?

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Demington
    May 7, 2008

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    The style is simplistic, unimaginative and very straightforward. And I believe this is a great indicator of the emotional content behind the words.

    Despite the traditional end rhyme appeal, the deeper feelings behind this poem drive it quite nicely, robbing me of any inclination to write it off as overly simplistic. Sometimes the best way to say something strong and powerful is to whisper.

    Well done,

    Blessings,

    C


    • Kikai Ni
      May 7, 2008
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      This is a great relief to me. I've found it hard to elaborate this subject because the emotion is just one feeling and very strong. Thus, the wording suffers and it becomes something you've heard many times. It is difficult to express emotion strongly enough through such simple wording to make it worthwhile, so I don't often try. I'm delighted and relieved to learn that I did just that.

      My gratitude,

      N


  • Dreamana
    May 7, 2008

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    To me, poetry is the perfect way to release pent up feelings, and if this has helped you then thats great.
    Stand strong, you will indeed prevail

    If you get a spare moment, please be so kind as to review one of mine.


    • Kikai Ni
      May 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      As I said, It's not over until you're not breathing. I believe that strength prevails.

      Of course; I'll do that immediately.


  • Dead Lover
    May 5, 2008

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    Wow this poem shows me your awesome will power, not as much as in strength but in determination. This piece suprisingly has inspired me to stand up to my fear once and for all. I only wish that I could be as strong as you. I love you to death little sister, and always remember this...If you ever start to fall, I will be there to catch you in my arms. Your poem holds a message I think people should go by, and thats to never say never; never give up. This piece of writing struck a strong muse with me. I absolutely love this! I am always here for you if you ever need me. Te Amo!
    Your Big Brother,
    -Adam


    • Kikai Ni
      May 7, 2008

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      I've many mantras (Find your way to remember, Keep defeating the evil with the good), but one that I just may use the most is "It's not over yet." Remember that, beloved Niisan; if you're still breathing, it is not ever over.


      • Dead Lover
        May 7, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I won't forget that little sister just do me a favor, and hold strong through it all. Everything will move on eventually and you will be able to release your stress.

1 - 7 of 7