You think
because I'm hidden
in veils of thought
I do not see you.
Those wicked ideas and fantasies of yours
I know every one.
I sit here fidgeting
on the stool of yesterday,
but soon I will come
screaming into tomorrow.
Author notes
image found at lifeiscarbon
A contest entry
- Pic Inspired number 3 by Tattboyspet.
300 points, ended May 8, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Wow. A most excellent take on the picture. As always, a talent who I am glad can write, write, write so that I may read, read, read. I love the last verse especially. Excellent work!
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BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Yes, there are those who will try to keep us down and out but we will rise up and become once again the person we was and will be stronger for the experience.
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This has me most lost in thought, I love that about it, it simply captures my imagination.
Most well done Di!
--Robert
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less is more
I love the way you did this. You took the most important thoughts and condensed them into the fewest words and it flows magnificently. "But soon I will come screaming into tomorrow" I love this part like an announcement telling the world to be ready for you. Great write!
-Driver
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Worth re-reading!
A few lines of free verse divided aptly into three sections effects a serious piece of poetic utterance.
Conscience. The interpretations of motive here are multiple. That's not the point.
Your use of "hidden", "sit fidgeting" and "come screaming" verbally progress the poem through time past, the now, and time to come.
This is a tale of a relationship which is emotively expressed in sparse, elegant language.
A very sensible interpretation of the prompt I would have thought.
Di, I congratulate you for your silver.
Best wishes. Ron.s.
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Bravo, my friend. Congratulations on the silver. You have described the nagging conscience very well. This too is a good description of shame. While the conscience tries to prevent behavior or cause good behavior, it is shame that haunts us after conscience fails.
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seems my comment was misinterpreted, what I meant in it was that the opening of this write was taking me along a path and then all of a sudden, with the last stanza it was 'BAM' - and it took me down a completely different path ... as I stated before, it was a very different take on the prompt and I DID enjoy it
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This started off so well and it seemed to take a different turn in the last stanza - nothing less than what I started reading, but a completely different path ... different to say the least
thank you for your entry
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Great poem! Especially love "I'm hidden in veils of thought" and "screaming into tomorrow!" Wow--excellent!
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WONDERFUL!!!!
This is so wonderful! one may seem they don't see what is around them but they really do and when the time is right they come out and show all they feel.
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Conveys the unassuming kept watch of by one who knows their tactics all too well.Nice depth of thought scribed here.
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sis i will comment again i want to appluad i donnno how to do it i will try to commetn hope i can get it this time
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wowww sis this is so thought invoking you really made me dive into thoughts with ur poem
love it loasds
as i love u too sis
sis i ur the besttttt
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