My Departure
In one hand’s the ticket
The other,
My luggage
…with my memories…
I stand here on this platform
As I wait for the next train
…Maybe the only train…
Out of this dream of mine.
All these memories I have
All these times I’ve spent
…These memories I wish…
…These times I wish…
Can no longer come again
From where I am,
I currently am.
So off I am, as I board this train
To a place far away from here
…A place like here…
A place different from here
A place I can feel welcome once more.
So with my head held high
And a smile on my face
I leave my baggage on the platform
And bring only myself
To the seat by the window.
…And with a heavy heart…
…And dying dreams…
…And hopes fed with lies…
And with a new heart
And with dreams coming to life
Livelier than before
And hopes beginning to soar anew
To the vast blue sky
And with the sun now rising
With its warm welcome
Off the train departs
Into a world unknown…
Author notes
well, it's time to move on from heartbreak once more....maybe this time....i won't return...
A contest entry
- All for All (im taking all poems and no rules =) )) by Erozay.
550 points, ended May 9, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Loss of someone by StarLightVampire23.
450 points, ended June 12, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Heart by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended July 31, 2008, 118 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I like this a lot of good detail.
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hrm. a thought provoking write. I like the image of the train being used to move away from heartbreak and on to something else, and I particularly like those lines at the beginning where you call your memories luggage because that's really a great way to describe them- we do lug around the memories of things we do wrong more than the things we do right. Great job.
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i understand i will be moving soon, and am going through the same thing.
really deep write for some one so young.
if i didn't know any better, i would think you were in your 40,lol
great write,
KNIGHT TIME
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Sheer talent!
What a talent you are! I love your piece! Keep on writing and I will keep on reading & most importantly thank you for sharing. Blessings, Angellightwolf
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I really liked this but was a little concerned by consistant use of "..." I am wondering if you intend a informal pause there?
I really enjoyed the story that is told here - it's almost as if the end of a love affair is as sweet as the beginning. Rarely in life are we afforded the opportunity to start anew! -
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oops! guess i fogot to explain wht that meant in my author notes. sorry! well, i did intend a pause and also, i put it to signify that's how i deeply feel and what i truly think. the rest of the poem contrarst to these lines because the rest is what i want to do.
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p.p its good
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Sperare.. (lol i call you that instead of your name)
This is your new best poem evr.
Yes.
I know what and WHO it's about.
Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.
Great poetry man.
<33
Scribble back after CXC is dead.
Becky
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APPLAUDS
Well felt. Interesting imagery. I felt the emotion as I tumbles threw your words. A little repetitive in word selection... I liked it though. Perhaps you chose to do so on purpose. I like the conflict/comparison towards the end. Great Write.
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this is a great write. Keep up the good work.
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I've been there before
Beautiful write. I like the centralized styling and all. 1 question though, about 1/2 through you say "a place different to here"-do you mean from here? Little fuzzy, but otherwise great write!
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ah...you're right...i'll change it now. thanks for pointing out the error and the comment!
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