Yellow yangtse river
yellow yangtse fever moon
silver slip between the conduit
of the nuclear control room
Do you want to be the upstart
do you want to rise some heat
do you want to fill your mulah bag 'afore you're swept down off your feet?
, after day get a little more wealthy
coupla hours older
think a little less healthy
as the blood rages colder
noone needs told her
that none of that really ever matters.
If she wants to help, she can't fake it
plenty of love if she'll just take it
for she's worth it if she makes it.
And it's all worth it if you make it.
can't you feel the tension
looking for an engine
find a new dimension
sent into detention
looking for an exit
looking for a way
got to see the morning
then another day.
Deathly quiet now in the theatre
all the surgeons gather round
they all want to join the circus
sweet seduction of the clowns
but the facial mechanic
knows that they're not really smiling.
Jude's ambitions of recognilia
can't control her mental drowns
for she just wants to be
something that never been before
eccentric cliches curse the way
she sweeps across the floor
and yet she wants more.
Jude's composing a song
doesn't take her very long.
originality derived from what's not been done before
avant-gard from things she's heard sounded strange
but she feel she's had this thought before
she met you last in this place for
but I feel I've had this thought before?
She's lost direction to the co-op
so to the cheese stall she don't show up
her date, he drove off in a huff
hope incinerating with a puff
sweet carcegens
from her her cigarette
she coughs and gets together yet
she's bored by all the numbness she now feels.
But it don't have to be this way, you sexy little sod!
I WANNA TAKE YOU HOME
I WON"T DO YOU NO HARM
least not less you want to
and I sure know yes that I do
'tever that means.
YES
is the answer.
Yes is the way
to feel like you're bein postive
when there aint nothin else to say.
Whoa oa Judy
Hey now Judy
WHOAOAH Judy
JUde's my jury
SO come on now and slip me that Judas kiss ______
I wanna know my price (take )
A dozen cupfulls of rice? (you )
well now baby don't pout (home)
come on and sell me out! ------
You know I'll take you on
that's why I wrote you this song
I'm a Quadruple agent, you can't cross me!
Author notes
Bit long, sorry. (and this is the edited version!)
- Calling all lyric writers group list • next in list
A contest entry
- rawr I want good love poetry!!!! by Live with a passion.
600 points, ended November 15, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this is a wonderful piece. I really enjoyed it.
"I wanna know my price (take )
A dozen cupfulls of rice? (you )
well now baby don't pout (home)"
i really did not entirely understand how that part was supposed to flow, but i read in different possible ways and I guess I still did not catch it. That said, there is nothing in this write that i am not pleased with, just confused with the one part.
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It's a lyrical sort of write, so the part in commas is actually sort of a backing vocal. thanks.
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really cool, and original for sure, i like the fourth stanza a lot... i think the end was less strong than the rest of it, it kind of fell off and seemed really scattered without pulling everything together. still interesting though, i would like to see more by you in the future...
-cassidy
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This is very cool. Fun to read and it flows really well, which is quite rare. A lot of the rhyming poems I've read lately have seemed really forced. Very lyrical.
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i like this and it is a good fit in the contest, good language and humor that did feel like a good song...very good piece, I must apologize as you are the only entry in this contest and I will have to delete the contest...thank you.
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WOW!! This is totally cool! What a romp! I really had fun reading this song.
You have wonderful ideas and I imagine you are fun to know in real life. 
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Thankee be for your loverly input. I've never actually got any positive feedback before, today I just got this flood of good stuff, quite strange. Even from someone I said almost entirely nasty things to (constructive criticism.)
I would reply to everyone who gave feedback, but in real life I'm actually a manically depressed factory worker named marvin who enjoys talking to you deprived cretins almost as much as when the suicide booth eats my coins and fails to pay out.
(just to be sure, I'm being slightly ironic, not sure how well that carries in writing. Not very, I'm sure.)
see you around
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