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costume mermaids

Missing image

S

such a

lovely place to

call home, yet lingering

inside liquid glass walls, hoping

for my

freedom. alas,

searching fingers collect

my fancy fins. throughout ripples

of dance,

my journey will

bring new adventures on

currents never before sailed, and

creekbeds

turn into streams.

river's conform from cold

babbling brooks as filtering gills

caress

natures' passion.

the tiny hands which took

me from the small sea of costume

mermaids,

beckons master

poseidon, the most wise

creature to see the ocean's depths.

placing

me upon tides

of foamy cresting waves,

my spirit's now amongst sacred

promise.

swim my little

anglefish, seek out your

future in the dreams you call, the

abyss

S

 

Author notes

This is the second "Big Dog" contest the first was held in 2007 I had so many Outstanding Poets enter that I wanted to hold another maybe this will be a yearly contest, last years contest was a grand contest just so very hard to judge I am hoping for the same this year. I was taken by all the talent that entered...

Last years contest was a form contest where you IM me for a form, well this year I want you to pick your own form your best, your favorite, and or both, title your poem with the form you pick...

( reserve your spot with the form as the title ) and then I will send you a prompt in which you are to write the poem.

 

Prompt:

 

Rivers

 

This is a poem/story about a little girl who sees an angelfish,

and she thinks the fish is desperate to make new adventures outside of this small aquarium -

 

Letters are all lower-case on purpose for presentation and format style -

 

Picture Credit:

 

www.cascadekoi.com/Tropical/Filtration.aspx

www.cascadekoi.com

 

Form:

 

A

 

Cinquain Swirl

 

Syllable count:

 

2-4-6-8-2-4-6-8-2-4-6-8-2-4-6-8-2-4-6-8-2-4-6-8-2-4-6-8-2-4-6-8-2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Mairi bheag gold member
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way the shape of this poem imitates the shape of the fish. Congratulations on the bronze.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    May 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations

    Nice to see a shiny trophy on this piece. Well done.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful poem with a visual twist to it as well.
    Congratulations on the trophy, you are a master at this form of poetry and a joy to read.

    Well done...Sue


  • blondone
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is too too beautiful this is why I love these contest I learn new forms I will for sure try this one I love the flow and the imagery pours from the words written, pure talent, this is poetry just beauitful thank you for entering...

    I must add the line placing me upon tides is powerful and a line to remember always


  • NeonRose
    May 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done. Love the use of language and imagery throughout.


  • Sprite silver member
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly lovely. I think the images are very clear. Love the ending. I had no idea real men wrote like this. ~ Joyce


  • jasminerose
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful form, flow and vivid imagery perfectly scribed in this cinquain swirl!!
    I adore story writes and this one definitely takes the reader on a wonderful adventure!!
    Excellent entry!!
    All my best to you in the contest!
    Jasminerose


    • Arkbear gold member
      May 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Jasmine :)

      You are most kind in your review....I am pleased you enjoyed your little adventure with me and angelfish

      God bless you,

      Bear ~

  • blondone
    May 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your prompt will be: Rivers

    Take this prompt where you want...
    I would like to know what the swirl is I know the form cinquain but, not too sure on the swirl part.

    • Arkbear gold member
      May 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hi there ~

      This is a Cinquain Swirl...>>>>

      http://allpoetry.com/poem/4126533

      The 2nd 2 syllable line is used for the 1st 2 syllable line in the next Cinquain

      ...and *Rivers* is an excellent Prompt....thank you,...and great contest BTW,

      ...thank you for Hosting....do you take donations?

      Chat tomorrow and let me know,

      ..God bless,

      night,

      Bear ~

1 - 15 of 15