oil and acrylic on canvas from The Millennium series
There is a bleak-filled harsh within
where stomachs growl with endless want
left churning at the start of day
with empty space on barren plane.
Where stomachs growl with endless want
the grit of need cased deep within
finds hands held out for grasp of faith
yet fail to grip a solid form.
Left churning at the start of day
breath feels the sting of quick inhale
and fights the bloat that comes to pass
when need outweighs its sustenance.
With empty space on barren plane
black flies swarm remnants of a name.
Hope seems a pipe dream left undreamed,
embracing wealth from circumstance.
Author notes
Prompt: Hunger
In a list
A contest entry
- Calling On The Big Dogs Of AP 2008 by blondone.
1375 points, ended May 27, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Oh my this is so sad... and you have really yanked the heartstrings with this emotional piece... Well done on the prompt!!!


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Ithica
Thank you so much. I see you are reading my form poetry.
I love retourne, especially retourne that does not rhyme (even though I am a rhymer at heart) Thank you so much for reading and leaving your wonderful comments. I do appreciate it so much.
~Pamela
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Superb penning ~
Personally, I feel this piece of Art should have blasted to the top of the Trophy ladder....but Sue would shoot me if I actually said that...hehe ~
Seriously....everything from the Presentation to the Tone shines deep and bright.....there is a special place for this write in all of our hearts.....or at least there should be ~
Many congrats on that Silver......and I shall be watching your quill in the next one!
Be well and God bless you!
Bear ~
:)


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Bear ~
Thank you so much. I am pleased for your wonderful comment on this piece. Thank you. ~Pamela
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Congratulations. This poem has a great deal of strength.


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Mairi
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so appreciative.
~Pamela
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A beautiful retourne and the prompt Hunger you have tackled brilliantly.
Congratulations on the silver...well deserved...Sue


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Sue Cardwell
Thank you for such kind words. I am so pleased for your comment on this piece. Congratulations to you too on a truly well deserved gold.
~Pamela
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Oh you have hit the spot with this prompt I find the imagery takes this write to the depth of hunger oh so sad its always the children that suffer the most I have to say this is breathless a new form for me and I love it I will have to try this one thank you for your sharing your talent


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blondeone
Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment and the honor of silver in your contest. I am truly thrilled. ~Pamela
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Good write on the pain of hunger. thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest


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ckwriter69
Thank you so much.
~Pamela
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This has a melodic longing as if it can never be filled and a matter of fact detached sense to its description of hunger and death.
eerie and superb!


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Ken
Thank you so much. I am always pleased to receive a comment on my work from you. Thank you so much.
~Pamela
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This is superb, as usual. I have no words...


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NeonRose
Thank you so much.
~Pamela
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I found the form on your page, I love it, its a strong form with stucture please stay with the retourne form
Your prompt is: Hunger
take the prompt where you wish and good luck -
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I have seen the description of the Retourne form before, i could have sworn it was at Shadow Poetry that I had seen it, but as you said it's not there. Now I wonder where it was I saw it..lol
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In all fairness to you and the other poets in this contest I can not give you a prompt for this form as I can not find it on shadowpoetry and do not know this form so I would not be able to judge please send me a link if you could to this form or pick another form if you wish

Thank You...











