Screaming Words.

I feel isolated,
In and out,
Every single,
Fucking day,
No one is like me,
I feel so angry,
I’m thumping at the keyboard,
Resting sometimes,
To cut my flesh,
It’s so satisfying,
To dig deep,
I want to weep,
But I can’t,
It’s beyond my skills,
I want to wail,
So the whole world can here,
I want to punch,
Something,
That will never die,
I want to leave my head,
My head is killing me,
I can’t bare this,
Anymore,
I want to write,
Myself into some words,
This is my attempt,
These words never heard,
This poem I’m writing,
Will be read through once,
And never changed,
Because this is how I feel,
I feel like rage,
Trapped in a cage,
I feel alone,
No one wants me,
14 years into my life,
I have been spit at,
Too many times,
My brother is dead,
So’s my Dad,
My step dad hits me,
My mum’s mad,
And here Iam,
In the corner,
The angriest of all,
But keeping it inside,
But when this cork pops,
I don’t know what will,
Happen, I’m terrified,
Of my own rage,
I want this poem,
This jumble or words,
To never end,
I want the whole world,
To be a poem,
That I have written,
I want everyone,
Just to spend a day,
In my life,
See what they would say,
See what they would think,
If they would sink,
In a matter of hours,
Or stick it out like me,
Now I feel bad,
I don’t want to complain,
But I’m sick of this life…all this pain.
There’s puke on my sweater,
My fore head couldn’t get wetter,
I’m choking on my nerves,
But I think of how I deserve,
Better than this shit,
I’m going to hit,
Punch, kick, bite,
I’m gonna put up a fight,
Whatever it takes to win,
I’m beyond thinking about sin,
Beyond caring,
I’ll go into war,
Ready to soar,
Above the rest,
I’ll channel all my detest,
To make myself not care,
About dying, about hurt. There’s no dare,
I can’t beat,
I’m going into this,
Without taking anymore piss,
I walk down the street,
Towards the bridge,
Ready to meet,
My new life,
If this is life,
I’m not so sure,
I want to live it,
It’s not exactly pure,
It’s not exactly,
What I imagined,
When I was 3,
I imagined an easy,
Path…leading to death,
Yes. But that thought was,
Beyond me…it wouldn’t happen,
To me,
But here I am,
Swinging my legs,
Over the side,
Of this bridge,
Knowing I won’t jump,
But just testing my limits,
Not allowed back home,
Not allowed at school,
Not allowed anywhere,
So here I sit,
On this bridge,
Watching the rush of life,
But life…something I don’t,
Want to live,
So here I am,
The breeze through my hair,
A note book in my hand,
A pen in the other,
With a page full,
Of these screaming words,
Plus some others,
That can’t be heard,
Here I am,
All alone,
Skin and bones.