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Conditioned to doubt (Villanelle)

I speak the truth, yet all you hear are lies
jealousy rages at such little things
considering your past it's no big surprise

Coincidence causes drama to arise
I'm accused of extramarital flings
I speak the truth, yet all you hear are lies

Step back, look closely is what I'd advise
would I be with you if I did these things?
considering your past it's no big surprise

Should know by now I'm not like other guys
I'll not be the puppeteer holding your strings
I speak the truth, yet all you hear are lies

Hear the tone of your voice, all it implies
others you know that lie, you treat like kings
considering your past it's no big surprise

What will it take for you to finally realize
from the depths of my heart is where my love springs
I speak the truth, yet all you hear are lies
considering your past it's no big surprise





Author notes

Love you Tory

Prompt: Truth vs. Lies

Villanelle

A Villanelle is a nineteen-line poem consisting of a very specific rhyming scheme:
aba aba aba aba aba abaa.

The first and the third lines in the first stanza are repeated in alternating order throughout the
poem, and appear together in the last couplet (last two lines).

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • blondone silver member
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    Grand take on the prompt you have dug deep for these lines tell the rel life truth about the lines between lies and truth and to put this is form this is why I love these contest writing skills are revealed thank you for entering...


  • NeonRose silver member
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    A different take on the Villanelle, very interesting use of the form. I like your theme.

  • This is a form I've not come across before but it works really well to reiterate the primary ideas in the poem. I'm a big fam of repetittion and rhyme so this really worked for me. As for content, the message is a powerful one and there's a good mix of raw and cushioned emotion.
    Thanks for entering!
    *~Huntress~*

  • Sprite silver member
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    I, too, feel that this flows nicely and the form is fine. The message is very clear. Our perceptions of truth lie within us, and we are effected by our past experiences. I love that message. Thanks for writing. I enjoyed your take on the prompt.

  • There is a hint of the vernacular in the way you phrase this poem - that's no bad thing, in fact it's good that you can do that with a formal poem. You have made it flow well (too often villanelles fall because the repeated lines sit awkwardly). You might want to look at "King's"; do you really need the capital? You certainly don't need the apostrophe!

  • blondone silver member
    May 4
    Edit | Reply
    Your Prompt will be the "truth vs. lies"
    take wherever you want it to...
1 - 8 of 8