Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Heaven's weeps

My memory is a slavery whip
that brittles my skin with scars.  

Nights and days, my chin would rest upon my knees
and tears would run down my cheeks

My thoughts would travel frantically-
mostly where my physical being could not reach.

I've been through labors where mothers weep
and to funerals where lovers part to sleep.
My spirit wanders in the dark
like a bat, blind in the daylight,
I miss the stars of heaven
for frozen tears have blistered my eyes.

Tired and weary; my bones are now of dust
scattered in the wind of the unknown.

Author notes

Mackie is the name

6.) Pen me something beautiful filled with magic and fantasy.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • upperworld06
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, really nice. these lines are so great and sad at the same time- Tired and weary; my bones are now of dust
    scattered in the wind of the unknown.
    sad that no one back then really cared if a slave died. nice job and good luc


  • chilali
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely written!
    "Tired and weary; my bones are now of dust
    scattered in the wind of the unknown."
    I loved that bit. Thank you for entering my contest! Please enter "The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout" in your AN. If you've read all the details on the contest page, you'd know why
    Great write! And best of luck


  • blondone
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding writing full of imagery and the deep emotions pulls and tugs real nice thank you for entering


  • XxX-Ivy-Love-XxX
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very nice. good luck in my contest!


  • SabbyLou
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good write i enjoyed reading it...x


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    well written

    this is a very sad write from you today. i hope that your emotions are no longer so desparately hopeless--death allows no hope to the one in the grave (unless one believes in reincarnation or ghosts) you have written this well. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie

    ps--i wish you well in these contests that you have entered.


  • enitsirhC
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow!
    This is absolutely beautiful!

    "My memory is a slavery whip
    that brittles my skin with scars."
    ^^My favorite part. Very powerful and beautiful!

    This is probably my favorite so far

    Thanks so much for entering my contest!
    Good luck!


  • Luckintheshadows
    May 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A powerful poem this, beautiful imagery. I loved this:
    "I miss the stars of heaven
    for frozen tears have blistered my eyes."
    I could really feel the anguish and almost loss of hope.

    Thanks for sharing this,

    Luck.


  • myrataal silver member
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Metaphorically powerful ...

    this poem cries its sorrow about past experiences, and angst about the great unknown.

    Well done, Poet.

    Blessed be.
    Myra

    Thank you for reading my work; I truly appreciate it.


  • craftyangel43
    May 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    An awesome piece. very well written. Good luck in the contest.


  • z etoile
    May 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is well written. I miss chatting with you Mack. Keep writing.

1 - 11 of 11