Frames fashioned to fit us square around ~
Although at random times my guard withdrew
within reserve are things better kept from view,
portraying an image to give light or dark form
cautious our approach because of attempts forlorn;
Banishing sorrows to evermore be tightly bound ~
Unfettered release into rare affections true
who intrigues my heart without fearing to break?
If betrayed the cut will surely run clean through
a beating muscle again impaled upon a lonely stake;
Shallow graves common 'neath love's burial mound ~
Gambling fair better odds than never did we partake
love is most regal when inner garments are adorned;
Only beside you, my Queen, am I fit to be crowned
no other gaze goes beyond what eyes see while awake,
if ever such beauty were lost, eternally be it mourned.
Author notes
Contest Prerequisite: "I'm Great"
In a list
A contest entry
- Where Is The Love? by Little Lottie.
750 points, ended June 1, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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Only beside you, my Queen, am I fit to be crowned
no other gaze goes beyond what eyes see while awake,
if ever such beauty were lost, eternally be it mourned.
Ahhh, I am never disappointed when reading your art.
The imagery and metaphor you used to create this piece describes well a passions love and reads vividly.
Wonderful poem with depth and written with skill.
. Rewarded 9
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Thanx. I am glad you enjoyed it and appreciate, humbly, your comment.
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excellent
Banishing sorrows to evermore be tightly bound ~
Unfettered release into rare affections true
who intrigues my heart without fearing to break?
If betrayed the cut will surely run clean through
a beating muscle again impaled upon a lonely stake;
you bring out the lonely sorrow so much clarity.You know it is a bengn sign of sure and long lasting depression.anything got you down.But the poem was amazing.please go thru my portfolio and offer some comments.
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Your pen is something I have found that I miss terribly... Especially writes such as this - the emotion, the imagery...
...sigh
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Im Sorry
Due to the low number of entries (2) in my contest, I have had to cancel it. You would have got the silver trophy for your entry, poet
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the expresions and metaphores are worthy winners of many a gold or silver trophy but this is too good for my little competition win which I am looking for trite trash dressed in words of simple expression.
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nicely done..i think of joan of ark
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Truthfull message written in beautiful words. Great imagery with a nice flow. Congratulations on the gold.
. Rewarded 4
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Shallow graves common 'neath love's burial mound ~
Gambling fair better odds than never did we partake
love is most regal when inner garments are adorned;
Yes, I can feel the hairs on the back of my head stand up. Not easy to do, since it's wet from washing. I especially reacted to the very last line. Without focusing entirely upon those lines, I cannot pretend to remain unaffected, since I just crawled my way out of this pit very recently.
Enough, this is an amazingly honest, unpretty, raw and emotionally charged work of art, congrats on the beautiful gold.
My best always,
Jin -
very powerful poem. full of emotions. It also has great wording and flow throughout the poem. I loved it. Great work
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Wow. That was such a beautifully written poem. I definitely enjoyed reading it. Congratulations on the gold. I especially loved that last stanza.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Thanx
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this was a great poem and i enjoyed reading it..however i feel that there is someting missing to make it complete..keepw ritting your talented..thanks for entering and good luck
~Chrissy -
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MMMK
Something missing? I love and encourage comments... further explain and I will try to edit to add that missing element.
unto a modest repose,
Grimoire
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Beautiful poetic language, use of metaphor and rhyme.
Congratulations on winning the gold.
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Why Thanks very much!!!
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Nice, I really like your opening line. Thank you for entering.
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In a moment, I have to go somewhere, so I will effeciently review this when I get home. In the meantime I would love to say this is a beautiful piece, one that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Thank you for entering your work.
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this is a really mature write which uses language in a very effecitve and darkly lyrical form. great use of figurative language and imagery throughout which worked well to emphasise the tone of the poetic voice. thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest. cheers.
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I really like this ! Great job!
Remember to put your Option # and name in your AN's! -
this is wonderful. i love the strokes of your pen... the rhyme, the message, the tone... everything. you are a skilled no doubt. your muse must be very lucky to have her painted in your art.
thanks for sharing.
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Have who? Ha ha haa.... purely a rhetorical question, of course. I think I am lucky too, though at times am not sure why.
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Uou are a very skilled writer... Looks like you got axed for no collaborater!!! Drats!!! Too bad because it was stunning, and I enjoyed the read!!!
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You've got style
A unique rhyme and thought that was worth a double read. I'll be looking to square up against you in the future. I once again, say good luck in this contest.
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This is wonderful, But could you please specify who you are paired with in your author notes?. Thank you!,
Best of luck,
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I am not paired with anyone. I just wrote the poem and entered your contest. If you want me to remove it I will. Hope you enjoyed the poem, regardless.
until immolation,
Grimoire
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very nice. it makes me feel complete emotion. And i feel the same way about My King very good job
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Wow!
Amazing!
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good write. i enjoyed it
luke -
Beautifully written, love your choice of words and the vivid imagery. Very powerful poem with a great flow. Best of luck in the contest!
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Oh I love this! Beautiful flow and imagery... took me on a little journey.. I shall have to read this a few times to gather all it's depth
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I thought the poem flowed along nicely. The imagery was expansive and quite descriptive, conveying the emotion and subject of the poem well. Great write..
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beautiful
very beautiful...i thought it was very well written and i enjoyed it emencly (sorry if i misspelled this word-i hope you know what i mean,if not message me...lol) anyways, lovely poem and excellent job! keep up the great work!
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Classic
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Wonderful
You imbued with deep feelings and also created great images. Very creatively expressed insights. A take on love that will linger with the reader. Good luck in the contest.
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Thanx
Your comments are taken in with much respect and appreciation, more than most for sure.
unto a modest repose,
Grimoire -
Thanx
Your comments are taken in with much respect and appreciated more than most.
unto a modest repose,
Grimoire
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Very well written. This evokes a true sense of pure emotion. I love the simplistic message with the more complex structure. The concept is easy to follow but it still makes one think of whats being relayed.
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Thank you. I appreciate your comments, and you have one of the best Screen Names on this site no doubt.
until immolation,
Grimoire
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The wording made this piece so elegant. The may sound funny, but I mean it. This was well penned and had a nice pattern to it. Well done!
. Rewarded 4
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I loved the flow in this....
touches and imagery that captured us vividly.
Painted very carefully with strong emotions and
wandering enough for us to just capture us completely.
You built this really well...touches abstract and
touches of almost prose. It was a great feast to
read! well done...the rhyming really was soft and
added a delicious layer to it too!
BRAVO! BRAVO!
ears/SEattle
. Rewarded 6
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This is just beautiful...
I am not even sure if I can find the words, though I shall try...
Poetically - this is lovely; the flow and depth of the thoughts within are just intoxicating. Your writing has always been inspiring for me; in more ways than you know. You have flourished in your style...
Now as far as what it made me feel: I have this deep respect and adoration for you, I believe you know that.
This is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever had the pleasure to read. You conjure beauty of soul, to touch the core of heart, and you have....
I love the play of words - for this holds a depth that I know to be true on many levels. This is amazing, in every possible way.
Excellent write my dear!
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Humbly yours
Thank you for your comment which shows that I presented this one properly, wording with intent... you have inspired more than once, I thank you...
until immolation,
Grimoire
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