It came to me today that you are dead,
as I sat down to eat my ham-on-rye;
I started crying, choked on bits of bread –
just who the hell are you to say “Don’t try”?
How many hours we trudged, behind Delane,
along the dusty sidewalks of LA,
then slipped inside a bar to ease the pain
with bourbon, and then somehow lost a day.
Were you a shy kid? Boy! You’ve had some fights
since those young days – we never count the cost –
but not like this; your crowding leukocytes
ganged up on you, that’s one fight that you lost…
and – damn! – what happened to our crazy love,
who gave that last, great obstacle a shove?
Author notes
"All in all, I had pretty much done what I had set out to do in life. I had made some good moves. I wasn't sleeping in the streets at night. Of course, there were a lot of good people sleeping in the streets. They weren't fools, they just didn't fit into the needed machinery of the moment."
In a list
- My American Voice • next in list
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more bloody sonnets • next in list
- Homages to other poets and authors... • next in list
- Not Bad • next in list
A contest entry
- Sonnet written for a dead poet. #81 Winklings and all AP Friends by Lyndon.
2600 points, ended May 15, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - buk & thee by onerios13.
1300 points, ended August 11, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Rounds Contest - Qualifying Round - Sonnet (prewrite) by Little Eagle.
600 points, ended March 3, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I got it!
I compared the top three to other entries and I see why you would make such a choice. I don't write contemporary sonnets yet. But I see what you have managed to do with this one. It got two reads from me and two enthusiastic thumbs up.
Yes, it deserved another gold. But won't you play anyway.
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Doubtful, but thanks.
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Thank you for your entry.
We want to live in denial when we loose someone. It took me a long time to accept when my uncle died. He was more like a father to me.
The form was technically good. Though some of it seemed a bit forced for trying to keep the syllable count. Good job with the rhyme scheme.
I encouage you to keep writing to read and comment.
You have been chosen to proceed to the next round. Once the next round contest is up you will receive a link to that contest.
God Bless
Tammy
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"Though some of it seemed a bit forced for trying to keep the syllable count" - well, thank you for your comment, but I think you missed what was going on here, i.e. a sonnet to a dead free-verse writer, a beat-poet. You don't have to thump a sentenced closed at the end of the line in a sonnet - it all depends on what you're trying to say and how you're trying to say it. I should know - I help edit a magazine for modern sonnets, and what's more this is a published poem.
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Bukowski!!! - you never fail to surprise me! This is so contemporary yet still a super sonnet. You have captured so much life and expressed it with a rawness that is fresh and vital.
Yeah lurve it!
Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live = C Bukowski
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I have to admit that I am proud of this one.
There's a tendency to forget, when we write sonnets, that we're in the 21c. -
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Well now wouldn't that mean writing a sonnet in txt speak.
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y not. vg idea.
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yeah ! thanks for coming to play with me in this contest ... that will be fun ...
and what a preliminary entry you have chosen here ...
wow ...
now that's what I call a perfect poem ...
no need to talk about the perfection of form which is always on rendez-vous ... but I think I really love our "american voice" ... it must be quite fun to hear you recite this sonnet with your scots accent ...
love the "crowding leukocytes ganging up" and the "damns", "oh boys" and all the rest !!!
a golden entry for me ...
maa
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Like it! It feels very true to life and is written in such a lovely way.
Oh, dear sonnet person... 
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I'm not a great Bukowski fan but this is a great Shakespearean sonnet. You have caught an essence of the poet so well. It has given me ideas for more columns. I would love to feature this in a future column!
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I must admit that I struggle with CB myself, but I appreciate him. He has a disciple here on AP - Dalaney http://allpoetry.com/Dalaney - whose free verse outshines his by an Irish mile, and whose work I love intensely.
Yes, please feel free to reproduce this in a column, if you wish.
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I've never read a buk piece that was an also a sonnet, lol, so I have to give you two kudos here. One for the wonderful take on this poet's unique voice and the other for doing it in rhyme! lol
But most of all, I want to say thank you for entering this excellent piece. It really did make me smile.
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Well, it's more a tribute than an imitation - I admit he is the most unlikely master to respond to a sonnet - but it was fun to write.
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This is a gem! I love rhyme that tells a story, this one has some history to it. YES!
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Its basically a biography in 14 lines.
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I'm surprised I didn't comment on this before. It really does seem like he could be saying this although it's in rhyme. I actually just read a poem by him about rhyming poems - I think he rhymed it. He always makes me laugh.
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Yes I am sure he would have hated this tribute, but it just flowed.
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lol, nooo. He would have glowered but be secretly amused.
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very nicely done...
al
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Thank you.
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One of the cornerstones of historical fiction is attempting to interpret events through the invented dialogue of the characters. You have encapsulated the nature of Bukowski's life with this composition, quite an achievement in so few words. Peace, Liz
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Liz, I got a great deal of satisfaction from writing this. I have written many sonnets, but I always feel I have achieved something if I can up-date the "voice" of such an established form.
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Simply superb. I just LOVE the way you write. There is such expression in this sonnet that keeps the reader held, melded to the words, reading 'til the finish, yet not wanting it to end.
Excellent work. ~Pamela
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When it's there, it's there, Pamela. Thank you.
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You wrote about one of my favorite poets. He could be a stinker, but God, what a man. To live and tell, this was his legacy to us, and you've done him justice, my sweet cousin. Love, Lane
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I tried to write it from inside the head of "Sara" - a character in two (I think) of his novels, who is based on his wife Linda Lee Beighle - or certainly from the viewpoint of someone who cared about him enough to have shared his louche lifestyle. It was quite a challenge to write a coherent sonnet using 20c language.
I came across the quotation (in my notes) which I think is the last paragraph of "Pulp", and I thought it was appropriate.
Oh yeah, and Jeff is going to kill me if I don't say I got the idea to write about CB from him. It's half true
I am really, really pleased you liked this one.
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This is excellent. What rhythm and flow. The words all fit together as if they have been cut from the same stone. Just wonderful.
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An adventure caught in a sonnet and it tells a wonderful story. Beautiful writing, most surely.
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I love the way you've caught the idiom and "low-life" flavour of Bukowski, but this is not just a pastiche of Bukovskian idiom--it's also, and more importantly, a fine contemporary poem in it's own right. Excellent work.
With admiration,
Bill
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Thanks for the appreciation, Bill.
It isn't really a pastiche - that would be against the rules of the contest - but I felt that I needed to have a mid 20c flavour to the language to pay an appropriate tribute.
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One I actually know!
Bukowski!
(My lecturer has that picture)
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It's not supposed to be so much of a guessing game, so I slipped in a well-known picture. But good for you
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Beautiful rhythmic flow and wonderful contemporary image. You really love this Dead Poet contest don't you?
Love,
Amera
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I do. But I think that if I have another inspiration, I need to approach it from a different angle. I seem to be adept at 'persona' poetry, and I ought to try something different.
I am glad you appreciate this one, Sis.
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