I would pledge my soul to sink,
lose hope in what is meant to be,
crawl alone amid despair unquenched,
sacrifice whatever I have embedded
in every conscious second of my
so called existence.
I would trade every jewel in every ring,
every twist of precious metal,
every strand of new born hair,
every fibre of any being,
just to breathe the you in me.
for one hesitant moment
I would become as you
to taste your very air
feel the soft pressure of cheek
to watch you asleep and dreaming
your browned eyes for once at peace
finger trace your waking smile
hold your heavy head
just to be you, at ease.
No babble of unnecessary conversation
tranquil now, you weighted on my shoulder,
inhale your essence
undulating flickering you exhale,
rise, flow, ebb and fade.
For once, at rest a single instant
no demons distress you while I am here.
I will protect your fragmented lost innocence
as I can,
watch your fractured thoughts dance
across your face
shimmer, diminish, sparkle then die.
I will watch over you as you sleep,
for one soft moment
I would give my world
to be your core, intoxicated by your being
and drown in your spirit.
I would be your saviour,
destroying detractors, the tormentors
who tear your brain,
and suck you to aridity.
I will be your blanket of protection,
your mask of disguise from a humbled world.
Watching your boyman face at peace,
all fears assuaged -
the man asleep.
Author notes
like to think this captures a specific moment
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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aww!! that was sooo sweet and very well written!! i love it!! and i really love the first stanza. that was really really good!! and sooo very sweet! i loved it!! good job!
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Ew!
Now that is a good woman! Your muse is very, very lucky.
I felt this poem along it's deep lines. Ew! That is one special poetic heart you possess. Many, many poetic blesses.
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Very Moving and Deep!
Wow I was well bewitched by this wonderful piece of poetic artistry, which flowed into my mind giving life to your well chosen descriptives.
This dances in the soul and mind of the reader, enchanting them througout and to the core of their very being.
The twisting tender words weaving into the heart of the reader and the subject matter no doubt!
Briliant work, love it, well done!
Thanks for your kind comments on my work via your excellent competition which is an honour to take part in.
Poetic Hugs & Thanks,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
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I would pledge my soul to sink,
lose hope in what is meant to be,
crawl alone amid despair unquenched,
sacrifice whatever I have embedded
in every conscious second of my
so called existence.
Wonderful stanza. I love the rythme and flow of your work and the metaphors are fantastic as well. This was such an emotion packed piece that it had tears in my eyes. Great read from a talented artist. ~mandie~ -
more than beautiful... I am impressed.
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only once in my life has a poem made me cry... but that was so emotional and so personal it reached down and touched a part of me thats been buried for long long months... first of all let me say thank you for the experience, curse you because i messed up my makeup [lol] and thank you so much for entering this poem. i am amazed... wow.
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I thought it was just a tad bit too long by at most a couple of verses.
Other than that, I found it to be quaint, a nice poem that you have written here.
-Nam
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Beautiful work here! Thanks so much
for entering this poem into my contest.
I appreciate it and wish you the best
of luck with it here! Keep up the great
work!
Jeremy0826 -
just beautiful.
greatjob.
i love the line: "just to breathe the you in me."
that's a great way of putting it.
bravo. -
this very beautiful and sad, i enjoyed it very much thank you.
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Yes, I could so feel this poem...an absolutely wonderful write, sad, beautiful, made me want to cry and smile at the same time.
Thanks for sharing this,
Luck. -
You have a very interesting style and are doing quite well for yourself on site it seems. Welcome to Allpoetry. I enjoyed reading your poem.
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"just to breathe the you in me"
AMAZING LINE!
this blew me away! Great job!
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thank you so much - i'm glad you liked it! it's about just how i felt watching someone very special asleep. I know it's rather abstract but it's how i felt at the time. Cheers for your applause and comment, they're really appreciated.
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