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White as the Dove's Sails

As can be seen in many a form
A white dove afloat on the wind,
Imagination set free once more
As the beauty is found within.

On wings of silk and the whitest snow
Aloft on air as sweet as cane
As flying it, alas, will sow
The woods with feathers and gentle pain.

Oh what beauty lies unbeholden
On those wings of silken white.
The hearts of men emboldened
By the dove's maiden flight.

Against a sea of endless blue,
Broken by clouds of the whitest hue,
Is a single dove born anew,
Who over the city once flew.

In its endless, aimless plight,
To live for free and ever,
It is observed as a meaningless fight;
The dove's unseen endeavor.

Taken for granted is our little dove,
As she heads for shore and yonder,
Never once given thought nor love,
Nor the dance graced with a ponder.

And over the sea to the northern shore,
Her heart aburst with passion,
Our little dove can fly no more,
For her little body is ashen.

The dove falls through salt-laden airs
Embraced by death's sweet peace,
Our little dove can rest her cares
And at last the dove can sleep.

Come to rest upon the powdered white sand.
On a beach of soot and ashes,
The plot where she lay stands white to this day
And is graced with flowered sashes.

Author notes

D E A T H h a w k

{ reading it over, I noticed something... each stanza is sorta like it's own little poem. which bugs me. but I like this too much to fix it. }

Note: I REALIZE "unbeholden" is not a word--don't message me about it or anything. I don't care. =.=

Alright, so, I read this over and didn't like it.

{{ a little piece I cut out, for example:
A dove, elegant and graceful,
Body illuminated by the morning sun,
Breast glistening akin to a ship's hull
As it crests the far horizon.

I like it by itself, but as a whole I just didn't!! }}

Anyway, so I had the dove representing a ship or a cloud or something before--and then I sort of just thought, "Why?" I played with the idea of the dove and olive branch, making it a sort of... peaceful poem. And the last stanza is sort of... Odd, I know; but it's a sweet idea, no?
I decided not to tell you the meaning of anything; tell me if you don't get it and I'll give you a sort of loose explanation.

All-in-all, I like this one MUCH better than the old one; it flows better. I'm really much happier with this; before it seemed like it was all clumped and out of order and jumping around and stuff...

A contest entry

How did you like it?

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    September 13
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    This was rather interesting. Thanks for entering and best of luck!

  • Juno101
    August 30
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    very sweet poem that is very peaceful.


  • anawarfare
    July 28

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    I really like this poem, it's so sweet and beautifully written great job! and I like the word unbeholden ha it may not be a word but I got the concept of what you meant, and I have a tendency to make up words myself good job and nice write!

  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    July 28

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    WOW! amazing job with this piece! I loved it! I loved how you portrayed the dove being so many things! this was such an awesome poem! loved your imagery in this, as well as the fantastic emotions. keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • Chocolate Chip
    May 5, 2008

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    this is truly amazing! especially the way the dove can represent sooo many things!! XD it flows so well and soo many amazing sceneries and images come to my mind! my imagination is running soo wild!! thank you soo much for sharing!


  • ourgirlFriday
    May 4, 2008

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    It's beautiful!

    incredibly metaphoic piece! I've not seen many able to pull something like this off so well in poetry! I like it-very deap and flowing, ever changing...
    It actually brought images from the the books Lord of the Rings, the first one "The Fellowship" and the image of the swan ship sailing. That's what I picked up. I guess to each their own, but well done!


    • DeathHawk
      May 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I'm glad you like it. I intended it for everyone to get their own meaning out of it; I just listed what I had in mind.


  • Sprite silver member
    May 4, 2008

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    I love the softness of the voice, the flow, the tone, and rhyme.

    I do have a problem (Not with that made up word, after all, that has been done by poets before.) with the dove representing many different things from stanza to stanza. Perhaps if you had used the first stanza to set the reader up for that ie. "The dove can mean many things."

    I say this because it is human nature to try to read it as one whole poem and categorize everything under one general meaning.

    In the third stanza you wrote "but" instead of "by," I assume.

    A very nice poem to read. Kudos for trying to pack it with meaning(s) and beauty.
    Thanks for entering. ~ Joyce

    • DeathHawk
      May 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      :)

      Thanks! I edited it some--took your advice and such--so... You might like it better. Anyway--thanks for inspiring this out of me with your contest.

1 - 9 of 9