Sitting alone
On an old park bench
Watching cars pass by
They go and go
And go and go
Just to cach up with time
The poeple inside
Fear missing the big things
So they ignor the "little" ones
So far they've missed
Watching the free
Eagle soar
The two squrriels
Qurrel over
The nut they've found
The rainy day
Giving in to the sun
And slowly departing the clouds
But of all the things missed
The hardest of all to admit
Is the Girl on the park bench.
A contest entry
- they aren't little... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended May 4, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - preliminary round; i wear a halo when you look at me. by innocence jaded.xx.
900 points, ended June 20, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you get from this?
Comments
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No.
I like it, but I think you could've done more to it. I love the message you're portraying, but it didnt seem to have much originality. It was a great poem though. (: Nothing personal.
Thank you for entering (: -
I like the simplicity of this. I'm big on metaphor and proper rhythm and all of that, but I think this works just the way it is.
There are a couple of misspellings:
poeple= people
ignor= ignore
qurrel= quarell
Thank you for entering. -
yes..a girl on the park bench.., I can see her and the statements which she is making to describe this life..wonderful momments indeed....thanks for sharing it and goodluck in my contest..
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Wow, I really like how you ended this, it was totally unexpected for me. Best wishes and good luck in the contest.
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