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Hot Sun

sun shines
heat wilts pansies
heads droop

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Polaja Greeters member
    May 12, 2008

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    This is such a beautiful short piece - I can almost smell the heat rising from the earth (no mean feat, it is only seven degrees here!) - I like the shortness of the lines in this, they are very effective good luck in the contest!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    May 9, 2008

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    Nice transition from the first line image to the third line image. Line two is a good pivital line.
    Good job!
    Best of luck in the contest.

    Dennis


  • Perception
    May 4, 2008

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    Oh! I love this one... I can just imagine the head of the flowers slowly... wilting down... Beautiful! I love how you wove this all together!
    Best of luck in your contest
    Nice poem


  • tawk gold member
    May 4, 2008

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    I hope my pansies don't wilt lol. Beautiful write. I so enjoyed reading wonderful imagery. Good luck in the contest. Theresa


  • ronnica
    May 4, 2008
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    poor pansies . I can see this scene, nice one.


  • Lady Altheia
    May 4, 2008

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    Yep, that certainly describes hot sun. My head certainly droops from all the swelting heat. Good luck in the contest.

1 - 6 of 6