Life slapped flesh!
Gurgled coughing, spitting cries
between gasps of sweet air...
A long exhaled wailing emptied her
allowing the first full inhale;
an involuntary reaction.
Nowadays she holds her breath
until plump purple worms pulse
along temples ~
she also was never taught
that voluntary suffocation
isn't possible.
Author notes
49 words
Quote Prompt:
"Because she never really learnt how to breathe" - H.R.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Oh My Word~
I'm making my rounds on favs and normally read in bulk during a single sitting
Oy~ each piece I have read packs a punch that lingers marks on the Mind~
but in a good way of course
Re: plump purple worms pulse
Holy Moly~ what images that come to view...I was having a Scanners moment- only seen the movie once
but that once was enough to ingrain a snapshot~
like Your words do
Powerful and Magnificent at the same time
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Oh my goodness!!!!
this is very powerful and carries a very strong message.
Sensational!!!
Delila
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I think the wording of the last stanza could use a little work, it just doesn't quite sit right with me. But other than that your imagery was wonderful, thank you
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a good piece, ah yeah try to suffocate the self and you will fail, still, some people like the buzz of trying it anyway
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It's good! I like how you've used a quote and made it your own.Well done!
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This is such a descriptive take on the quote; unique and thought provoking... Such a poignant plunge into breathless longing; intriguing. Nicely done my dear! All the best in the contest!!!
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A very nice take on the prompt.I really enjoyed this write! You have some good imagery here too. You made me laugh a little too because I have a niece who used to hold her breath when angry. Nice job! Patty
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Superb
Cools. A very nice write, indeed. Worked very well with the prompt, and has truth to it as well. I liked how you summed up the journey from birth to death in such a short write. Again, well done. -
Well said.
The last part is so true. hehe
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