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[Un]speakable

Everyone said it was so sad...
How everything went from bad to worse
They say it never was better
just one thing after another
Some say she couldn't take it
that everthing got away from her
Everyone said it was so sad...
when she died.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Exodus gold member
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think the format doesn't do anything for the piece. You could have done something there to make the end really hit the reader hard. As it is now it seems like a bit of an anticlimax.

    Thank you


  • crazymomma
    May 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I just wish I knew what the quote was. I sense suicide but no matter. So sad. Thanks for sharing