You are an eager travel agent
away from meeting your maker.
One phone call closer, unaware,
it's your game show eyes that
will let me get up and over you.
Inches from your face, you can
smell the salt from my lips & pores.
We both will 'be', for hours, days. The
love & work of an honest man's will. You'll
keep well refrigerated, yet awakening too.
If I can keep my temper down and your
tolerance high. The mess will be
worth cleaning up.
I will serve yours' cold
& repeated.
Author notes
STFU
Written December 18th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- I need Inspiration by darkstinger.
350 points, ended October 31, 2005, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Brilliant
This is a great piece of writing - dark, sinister, and so very very good. My type of writing. I love the originality in this piece. Well done.
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The closest I see this in fitting any of the choices, would be zombies. but whether it is or not, there is still no sense of zombies.
But one thing this does remind me of is hannibal lector, when you mentioned refrigerated, and also the serving of a cold dish.
I thought of hannibal lector in the plane sharing his dish of brains to the chinese boy.
I'm sorry I can't accept this
Butit is a beautiful dark and sad write.
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Very well written, that cold calculating feel about it, as usual a great write from you, all the best, hugs Di
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No, just two, thanks...
Come again. -
Your other poem is well written. Looks like you really want to win, will you enter all your other poems as well? It increases the chances doesn't it..
Edited on Mar 18, 7:14 p.m. because ''. -
My mother murder catagory is full of chalklined bodies.
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WOW! I didn't realize you had a dark side in you too lol
But I like this! It was just awesome...I'll have to read more. From SlightlyTwisted
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Yeah that would be the movie....clammy.
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Throw momma from the train
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VEry original. Great write. Good luckin the contest....
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great write about freezing him intresting i dont think anyone else in my contest has used this they all talk of knives and such good job at being origional and good luck
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again, another amazing write..wow...good luck in my contest...wow
christina -
You know i'm recalling this movie with billy crystal and danny devito very similar to this...not remembering what it's called something about killing...mothers...alrite i'll think of it later. Andyways your images are perfect and what you did with this poem is just great..i really love the way you made it with the traveling salesman and all...shame no one read this one and commented...for it is a great poem....choder..another one that's perfect.
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