He wandered in from the desert
a little the worse for wear
His robe was torn
long hair dishevelled
and he’d lost a sandal
A crowd gathered around him
as he climbed on a rock
for they’d waited for his oracle of doom
They loved a bit of doom
Expectantly they gazed at him
for his tongue lashings were legendary
No one spat fiery warnings like Isaiah
He was the best Saturday night’s entertainment around!
The moment arrived
He cleared his hairy throat
and began to speak…
“Oh fellow creatures what can I say…
The sands are shifting with the purple tides
The sun, that giant amber orb
enveloped me in his furnace
and showed to me miraculous sights
Of hell being swallowed up
in the belly of the black hole
who is the beast who destroys all evil
And of disgruntled Israelites cheering up
hugging Persians and kissing locusts,,,”
The crowd shuffled a bit looking bemused
this was not going well
If they’d wanted to hear good news
they could’ve gone to the pub
for the wine was at a discount
“Isaiah oh mighty prophet
what’s become of your fierce words
that will go down in history
frightening people for centuries?”
“I do apologise for my cheerfulness
I was hungry and ate a few mushrooms
It seems my altered perception sees truth differently
From this perspective God is only love
doesn’t punish and isn’t grave
he wouldn't kill us with poisonous snakes
and isn’t at all pleased at sacrificial lambs
I’ll take a paracetomol
and have a lie down
for if God’s this laid back
I’ll have to rethink our whole religion!”
Author notes
Inspired by Great Cthulhu's beard.
A contest entry
- Round #5762 - Oration of the Mad Prophet!!!!! by Great Cthulhu.
525 points, ended May 17, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Splendid!
You made me smile big and wide with your write, too funny! It almost seems to mirror the kinder, gentler teachings of Christ, moving away from a vengeful, angry deity. This is a very humorous poem, very tongue in cheek, eh? I loved the crowd's reaction. Well done story. Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering! -
Great story, vivid and pithy.
Flows well, ties up nicely.
MacArthur Park, 1970 or so.
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God on the cosmos...
in a Jewish ramfest, Hermedes comes to the rescue and offers Isaiah a pork pie. the crowd shifts and the Lord parts the dirt, effective allowing water right through the middle, and nobody has time for show and tell anymore, or a free fairie tale ride.
quite interesting, Georgia. I like the colors and the quotes in this piece. The roads are paved with black tar and dust. Mrs. B & I were just reading Isaiah 55 last night in between segments of Rumi. This was a trip:
1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost."
what an intriguing concept - an invitation to come buy without money and without cost. what does THAT mean?? ~ EZB
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I think perhaps Isaiah was a great seer shackled by his religion, hence my good news prophecy bit. Reminds me of John. The write is tongue in cheek for a contest, hope you didn't misunderstand me!
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Love it
weird idea, very well realised. Readings from the new old testament, maybe! Certainly merits a couple of more readings- great image- what about Moses on the rock?
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HA!!! This reminds me of Life of Brian for some reason...This would make a great movie scene.. LOL.. I love it.
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This is so wonderful. I just loved reading through this and the humour was excellent. You have done so well here, all the best for the contest.
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"If they’d wanted to hear good news
they could’ve gone to the pub
for the wine was at a discount"
“I apologise for my cheerfulness
I was hungry and ate a few mushrooms..." All good speeches start with something along those lines
Easily the most amusing and random poem I've read in awhile. Best of luck in the contest though!
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It is hilarious along with your AN. A cheerful letdown of preconceived notions. Especially liked the mushroom part. Great poem!
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What a chuckle..I got great visual images from this, camera panning the crowd..*
*...Sean Connery could play Isaiah...
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oooooo..this is good! I really enjoyed this read!..keep it up...i'd like to read more stuff like this!
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