(Intro)
and as I walk away, I do not delay
I paint my smile just like you
and act like it's all ok.
and if it's possible,
I'd like to be able to laugh
all these problems away. everyday
Plastic psychopathic and I'm drastically sarcastic
Lesser known Jester in a deck of cards, it's hard to match it
I'm hooked like a crooked rook, and I belong in a jacket
I swim in single circles, if you see a surface
...you can scratch it
(Verse 1)
I wait in the shadows wondering if we'll make it
I've armour like eggshells knowing they'll break it
I've heart and the key to my freedom knowing they'll take it
I stay waiting in shadows basically hopin' we'll make it
See,
I feel these obstacles are to strong for me to counter
I've already gave away my power, I feel so lost without her
I met fate, I have the dying minutes of my life
to get my head straight, send the scent of death my way
and my best traits are dead weight.
Once we had dreams without screams, doing good deeds
watering our seed of love, it's reach to shove
now she showers us with disgust from above.
I'm those old notes those old folk poets are speaking of.
Feelings reaching up & rising like diving crows
and weaping doves.
We skipped a gladstone to sad & painful to engrave
with a label or a name, not even cradle to the grave
I played my own god, and got burned, turning angel to slave
It's so painful to say, my baby angel I wasn't able to save
I'm so sorry... will you ever forgive me?
(Verse 2)
Wait, what's going on? mommy where we going?
Why do I feel so cold, and my body ceased growing?
Don't you love me anymore?
Why am I in the middle of every war?
How could you leave? You let me be
Set me free but now I never get to be yours.
I never get to be held, or grow strong
and climb out of my shell, or get out this hell
I don't get to crawl or stand up for myself
now I'm all by myself...
now I dwell by myself...
I remember
when you used to make my mommy laugh
feel the pressure and power of your bodies
clash together when I make my mommy sad.
I'll miss the tone of your voice
when you fight with my dad
who gave it all he had,
sorry to trouble you
but was it my bad?
I wanted to cry when I cuddle you
I barely even got to know the real you
but I'm in love with you.
but when I'm gone
real eyes realize real lies
and you love me too...
I'll miss you,
and when you cross to my side
and you call, I will come to you
...because I am all by myself
When you get there, I'll be there
as you stare in surprise
I'll listen to the glisten
of the glare in your eyes
I'll help daddy dry the tear
guysers out of your eyes
I'll make you smile again,
and be there by your side
I'll baby you,
cuz I'm a baby too,
people care when you cry
I'll jump in the puddles
as wind blows your hair through the sky.
Who are those children standing by you?
Why are they smiling and right beside you?
Are you harbouring another hilarious lie, too?
Just know, no one, not even your own son
will ever love you two as much as I do!!!
Why when I try to hold her hand
she looks away?
Why was I devided to supply
your lies with my life you took away?
Mommy & Daddy, I promise I'll be good today
I won't even cry... I'll dry my eyes right now
Help me sleep tonight, I won't even cry when the lights out
but I doubt, your new life won't make it all better inside
I will try to forgive you, but I'll always be wondering why
I'll torture myself, wishing I was with you
looking down from a thunderous sky
maybe you'll actually think of me
if your other kid dies, no more lies
My rain just cannot explain how I feel inside
I feel a vibe, through unity, he who doesn't survive
I love you both with all my heart, good-bye
...I wish I was alive
Author notes
SUICIDE SUSPECT
The things I've seen in life will make you choke by surprise, like my aborted fetus inside a jar
that opened it's eyes.
(Verse 2)
There's nothing worse than money (or lack there of)
being the root cause and death of all that is beautiful. All money is blood money.
We didn't retain enough to support any new recruited members of our little family, although we did manage
to scrape enough together to euthinate our 9 week old seed. Through-out the duration of this write, I was an emotional wreck, thinking about this, and when I put my pen to paper, and my body & heart alligned with my brain & my spine, I could only think of what our potential baby girl must of been thinking.
A contest entry
- Broken Sadness by SunDew.
1200 points, ended February 26, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What can I possibly say? I'm so taken aback by the sadness & the perfection with which this was written...the rhyme is better than I can even attempt. Such a sad, sad story, & so very well written. Please send me the link to any related poems, so I can read the full story. I don't want to forget about this, & I have a son who has driven me to scatter-brainedness.
Thanks for entering & good luck!
~Bright
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this piece is very beautifully written. there's so much emotion, and a great use of rhyming, the first lines caught my attention, as well as the last.
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yo...
Thanks for the comment darling... it means alot, I was actually just reading this piece, holding back my tears, my first act of fear at the start of my heart which will burn black for years.
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Man, I'm telling you my favorite verse was verse one. From the shadows to the amour like egg shells this shit is HOT! You have a perfect way about describing the simplest things in the most complex of ways but not to the point where the reader can't understand it. Very old school hip hop ish, and I love that because old school hip hop used to tell stories, it used to actually be about something. This write is very reminiscent of that. Can't wait to read more of your series.
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I love your rhyming skills. You did a great job on this piece. BRAVO!!
Vampi
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Classy
You're one of the most talented writers I have happened to come across, and this shows it. As heart says this is impeccable. The emotion you portray working within a technical scheme is outstanding. Some of the subject matter is perhaps too personal for comment but I just wanted to you to know I feel your pain. The painful memories do make the best pieces, while allowing for a release. Keep on writing my friend.
Dan -
way too deep for me to dare critique
reading this pains me, makes me feel weak
I would imagine emotionally you're going through a lot and such a touchy subject - is not worthy any opinion i or anyone may have.
i will say this tho
your flow is impeccable, relatable, undeniably clever
fluid, descriptive, unjustifiably better
can't wait for the happy ending!!! soon i hope?
and for what it's worth - i'm sorry for any pain you're feeling or going through - you and your family. If you ever need a friend, an ear to vent to or someone to spit B.S. with - I am here.
♥
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