We are laughing through the darkest days
Of happy times that passed away
How young we were! How innocent!
And oh! How times can change!
From golden times to shadowed times
From rythm to unfettered rhyme
From 'us' and 'we' to 'you and me'-
What happened to our unity?
Is this sorrow? Is this bliss?
The past that's gone, replaced with this
Should we be happy or be sad
When laughing of the joy we had?
A contest entry
- The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Super Quick PW by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended May 31, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by aeolia.
400 points, ended October 26, 2008, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites round contest #1 by serenity silvermoon.
425 points, ended December 27, 2008, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is great, and leaves one thinking, of times past... well it did me anyways. What a great read this one is!
Best of luck in this contest!
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This is very well written. I rarely find perfectly rhythmic rhyming--it's hard to do, which is why I generally don't rhyme--but you have it here! Only one line is evenly slightly out of sync, and that barely! I'm impressed. and not only that, but the words themselves fit smoothly, like speech. And your questions are are so true and ubiquitous.
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Thanks! Only, which line is slightly out of sync? Please tell me, so that I can fix it. Shya
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It's really tiny, and not exactly rhyming, just a little skip. In the first line. It is easily fixable by turning we are into a contraction. And I noticed that you spelled rhythm wrong, which makes it look like rhyme at a glance, which would make the rhythm off in that line as well. Spelled correctly, however, it's fine. See the importance of spelling!
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Reminiscing of the happy times...
that is blissful, but rather depressing if it doesn't exists anymore. You still have a lot of things ahead of you I'm sure you'll have a lot to reminise about.
Wondeful write, I believe you did express yourself as much as you could. Keep writing and have a blessed day.
Thank you for your comment.
-Blanche
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This is very well done, but I do not believe you should be reminiscing just yet you still are very young. LOL.
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The flow was really nice and the imagery
was really vivid.. You did a really good job..
I really liked this.. Thank you for sharing
and best of luck..
Angel
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This is great! I love your rhyme
scheme in this one. Well done
and thanks a lot for sharing it
here! Keep up the wonderful work!
Jeremy0826 -
This has a great rhyming beat to it. I like the way it reads, it almost sings. Very well written. Nice work.
Kelli
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