Soggy eyeballs drip
with the saline
of a broken heart
As memories of yesterday
recreate the tragedies of
an unfulfilled life
The mind suspends
in a dwelling place
made for fools
As dreams burst into flames
of discontentment
and the reality of defeat
kiss the darkness
The light of truth erodes
the fallacies of
pride and delusion
Unlocking the gateway to
enlightenment where dreams
foster imagination
Igniting creativity for future
generations to grasp in the
citidel of hope
A place where endless posibilities
are born in the transformation
of a euphoric society
Founded on the content of ones
character and abilities rather
than the place of inception
Awakening the spirit with renewed
expectation for inspiration in
a dimension where there's
no need for tears
Author notes
(vi) Stop your tears.
A contest entry
- Write free verse fromsubjects given Winklings & friends # 84 by Lyndon.
3500 points, ended May 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You listened to Pamela
and that is heartening.
Some, only some, of the phrasing is prosaic:
"Founded on the content of ones [one's]
character and abilities rather
than the place of inception".
I mean, this is prose broken into lines, pretty much. Forgive me if I'm a little harsh.
'Moist' as it is, the opening stanza is poetic with good imagery:
"Soggy eyeballs drip
with the saline
of a broken heart". It is visceral, as well. Stanzas two and three provide your intended jaundiced view well.
Thank you for taking part in our contest.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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Only 74 words, need to be at least 120 to stay within the contest specs.
I think you could expand this beauty some to meet the requirements.
It is lovely. Some very good imagery gong on here as well.
Thank you for your entering. I will be back. ~Pamela -
Wonderful poem. I like the happy ending. You have great imagery. ie. "soggy eyeballs drip..." Thanks for sharing
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Again another amazing poem from the great darell.
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magnifico
like an arrow that struck the insides of me. i love the poem and the flow.
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