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Recollected

I remember when we saw a shooting star
you thought the world was ending.
A sparkle that foreshadowed a world of pain.
But now the fire is out
and the moon is lonely again.

Your sun met the devil
and fell down and away from me.
I tried to pull you back
as a good friend would
but it pushed you farther off
like an addiction that was addicted to you.

Now stars are a sign of hurt
because they remind me of your eyes
the way they plead
after a disappointment in your fantasy.
As I cradled your soul with mine
and watched the stars dance across the sky.
And you thought the world was dieing.
Oh, how I wish you'd been right.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Hebz
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    very sad, but well-put

    Thnx for entering & Best of Luck

    GloriousGift
    Hebz


  • pop123
    September 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good poem,with really sad parts.
    Good luck and thanks for entering!


  • fantasysmurf
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nightime lonliness

    It is forever night when there is no 'sun' to brighten up our day. Sad emotions come to me in your words of "loneliness", "dieing[dying]" and "disappointment". Be strong for yourself and your friend - pass on the message of addictions being a toll on loved-ones lives. It is effective to me as the reader


  • ml12
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For me this was a painful piece. The ideas were expressed with clarity and were unique. "like an addiction that was addicted to you" - absolutely brilliant! Good luck in the contest.