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then there was you

 

 


a spark. something


with the blue beginnings
of a forget-me-not, broke
into my house,

stormed, unsubtle
as salt, down dark corridors,
oblivious of creaking floor boards
still weary from my last heart’s travels -

gust of gulls, flourish of frets: you,

 

guiless as a guitar, abruptly
in tune with my breast,

 

woundless

my rooms turned a hand
in the direction of the sun; suddenly
my house was like the word

“light”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 65 of 65
  • Aisades
    October 5, 2008

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    Cautious, but overpowered by a love worthy of your soul it seems. This just took me right out of myself. I loved it. I know this feeling. He must be a powerful man to have gotten you to believe in him this truly. You must share with me what his sign is.


  • silverscent gold member
    October 3, 2008

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    Very impressive. It's one I wanted to read over and over, just to enjoy the beauty again. I love the metaphor, and the imagery. This poem makes me envious. Well done.

  • wendymolly
    June 29, 2008
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    sorry. speechless.


  • sassylilpoet silver member
    June 1, 2008

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    breathtakingly beautiful! and full of imagery of the intruder who broke into your house and stole your heart.


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    May 24, 2008
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    beautiful and captivating. and wonderful imagery


  • mayaa
    May 21, 2008

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    warm and lovely. so full of love and light. congrats on the gold; beautiful write.


    mari


  • RadioPJ
    May 18, 2008
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    Heart and soul,
    light and life --
    You've sung us a beautiful tune.


  • Mari Goes gold member
    May 17, 2008

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    Your poem is a birthday present you offer him...his birth was meant to be your best life present.
    How lovely are your thoughts and how softly they become words.


    Now, after this poem, you don't need to give him that cake you baked...yeah, right

    Wonderful poem and voice, as usual

    Mari

    • Nicolette gold member
      May 17, 2008
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      actually i think he's better in the kitchen than what i am - lolol, i know that . Thanks, Mari - yes, love is the best-baked cake - and the breakfast muffins that go with it . Great to hear from you


  • natari
    May 16, 2008

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    Nicolette this was stunning. I am embarking on a new romantic journey so this was really quite appealing. Actually very appealing. Funny how love finds us when we are licking our wounds from another.

    miss you

    Helen

    • Nicolette gold member
      May 17, 2008
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      you are so right, Helen - love does find us, especially when we're not looking. Sometimes love takes his time, lol, but it's always worth the wait. Good to see you're on that romantic journey too...


  • Swan song gold member
    May 15, 2008
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    This was another stunning and awesome write dear!!!!
    This one got me google eyed!


  • SerenityNChains gold member
    May 14, 2008

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    Then there was love...and so many sigh when they are allowed to dance in it's light. Such a wonder is your words, your ways. I applaud you, your heart, your lover. Bravo!!

    Blessed be,
    Billie Jean


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 14, 2008

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      Thank you, dear Billie Jean. Yes, then there was love again... so good to see you. How are you doing...?

  • Gods Precious
    May 14, 2008

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    Deep expresions
    What an awesome peace

    this caught my eye........
    of a forget-me-not, broke
    into my house,

    Such an awesome piece relating is easy


  • xoxoprincess
    May 13, 2008
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    good write, i really liked it. keep it up


  • Ladybug
    May 12, 2008

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    superb

    in the limelight I hear a guitar playing faintly in G minor of the background to your singing a ballad of a love song that lost it's way and can't find it's home somehow but you direct it safely home.
    Happy Mother's Day
    all the same
    ;0
    Tamara


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    May 12, 2008
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    Beautiful words of love.

    Margaret


  • james119
    May 11, 2008

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    A baby, a friend, definately someone you love.
    this piece blesses purity and honesty .
    My favorite lines:
    guiless as a guitar, abruptly
    in tune with my breast,

    original, clear and moving...

  • Swan song gold member
    May 10, 2008

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    Well somehow you just croon such lovely images It is wonderful to read your work I always come away with a glow in my heart


  • Sonja
    May 10, 2008

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    Thank you for always sending and shearing pieces of kaleidoscopic lights with all of us. Something white, something blue...
    ~Sonja~


  • RadioPJ
    May 9, 2008
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    This produces such a spark of warmth.

  • dx d by me
    May 8, 2008

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    I am taken a back by your small collection of poignant declarations, which are lovely points of enlightenment. They are at once substanative and ethereal, emotional yet concrete. This causes me to make choices to capture meaning. I like that, participating in poetry. And there is a larger effect, something beyond the reading of this gorgeous poetry, that surrounds the poem and reader, encouraging its acceptance of the human experience, something luminous. Congrats on Gold, well deserved! GEO

  • tara wilson gold member
    May 8, 2008

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    congrats Nic.. I love your poetry so much....this is so well deserved...yes...Kate is right...you have an amazing gift for writing poetry


  • EvilKate
    May 8, 2008

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    Thank you - for sharing the beautiful gift you have found, through the beautiful gift you were born with

  • Virgoan
    May 7, 2008

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    there is a moment filled with light, and love - in silence still in happiness.

    excellent my friend, one of the best b-day present one can have. a poem, a beautiful and exceptional piece.

    keep sharing your gift

    HENSLEY


  • Jersene gold member
    May 6, 2008

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    Your poetry brings such brilliant 'light' to anyone who reads it...

    what a lovely birthday present. He will be touched


  • Elora Danon gold member
    May 5, 2008

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    Amazing how it all creeps up on us isn't it? And what a beautiful thing when we finally have that epiphany the tells us the arrival of love happened far before we were aware of its presence.

    Even with all the ache I live with on a daily basis because he's away, I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's an ache I'll gladly carry with me rather than never to have felt it at all.

    This is beautiful and straight from the heart.

    Lovely work Nic.




    PS: My man is in your neck of the woods for the next three weeks.

  • natari
    May 5, 2008
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    This is so beautiful and it's funny because I'm reading this after someone I cared about totally shot me in the gut. The good thing is I saw it coming. I will never tire from your poetry.You have such a knack at finding the most perfect words.I hope you are well and I know you are happy. I am sort of back but most of my current poetry is work related as in Priests and Churches.I will try and return to catch up.

    ~Helen

    • Nicolette gold member
      May 6, 2008
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      Hey Helen Good to see you back again!! Lolol yes, sometimes we see it coming, other times not..but the result is the same . I hope to catch up on your new "priests and churches" poetry soon.


  • Tercil gold member
    May 5, 2008

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    I can imagine your garden full of blue, plus a quivering fix of the blue sky to inhale from. Much vitality in this piece of hope and exploration, or just another daydream feel from that illustroius pen of yours. Nice write, most enjoyed. That last bit sounds as if you were outside, regrettably to go in.


  • Namita
    May 5, 2008

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    You are amazing-er!! The light of this poem is brighter than any sun... oh wow. You are the queen of poetry. Another "goddess" on AP... This is the perfect example of "light"... "light"... "light"...

    (Don't ask em why I repeated that. It sounds amazingly corny, doesn't it? )



    - namita

    • Nicolette gold member
      May 5, 2008
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      lololol - corny or not, I LOVE it!!! ... Thank you, Namita - for your light too - and for always being an inspiration (yes you are)


      • Namita
        May 5, 2008
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        (did the same , , and appear just a while ago )


  • Lyrical Soul silver member
    May 4, 2008

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    Beautiful tender words, my vriendin. I hope Guys birtday was wonderful.

    **Happy Birthday Guy!***

    Love you Nic!

    ~Lyrical


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 5, 2008
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      Hi Robin - good to see you . Lief vir jou, my vriendin!!


  • leander Moderators member
    May 4, 2008

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    What a most beautiful birthday present you have written for that special guy in your life my friend
    It's almost as if you have written this from the point of sunrise, and how I do love that thought - and personification in an unmentioned note (I think)


  • Allyce May gold member
    May 4, 2008

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    This is such a beautiful gift! DEFINITELY not a pinprick! Unless you are using it to burst a bubble of love that will overflow on us all

    No wonder he loves this, and you. You both light up the dull days we have

    You know this is simply marvelous!


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 4, 2008
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      LOLOL you remembered about the "pinprick" . Thank you, Allyce....


  • Mad Moon silver member
    May 4, 2008

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    I have no words, dear one.

    They have all disappeared in the beauty
    laid out upon this page....every one.
    I am enveloped in it ~ Wrapped in sighs.....
    Perfection, indeed.

    I'm bookmarking this
    "spark" so I might lie within it's light often.

    sooooooo beautiful......

    Much love


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 4, 2008
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      Aawh Mary... you are too kind, my friend.
      Thank you......


  • NurseChilly gold member
    May 4, 2008

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    Oh yes yes yes... this is his way, your ways,... his music and his words, the way he bends you.. plays the frets of your spine, the innocence of chords on your mouth and fingers

    this is new light, new love and a new beginning

    so damned beautiful.. okay okay.. third time today i've cried, enough already.. sniffs

    • Nicolette gold member
      May 4, 2008
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      jaaaaa....one can cry because of all this light, this love...these new beginnings, Gilly

      they should have an emoticon for happy tears, and perhaps one for "thank you for the music" too . Thanks, Gilly


  • Leslie gold member
    May 4, 2008

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    oh God, you always gimme the hope to love again, I know how heartbroken the thing is when it doesn't work out, but you know when you find the light again then is when all is worth be living for, and remember there is not absolute happiness, but happy moments that you can always treasure....

    all my love to you my eternal believer of love..


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 4, 2008
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      You are so beautiful, Leslie...love has got to find you - that I know and believe too


  • zochit2me gold member
    May 4, 2008

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    What light and love radiate from this poem.
    What a lucky guy he is to have a "light" soul such as you writing poetry for him.

    Blessed be the soul...

    Becky*love


  • katfair
    May 3, 2008

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    you are a gorgeously attuned poet Nicolette
    giant heart
    and
    musical soul
    rich and generous as light
    kat



  • Randomly Beautiful
    May 3, 2008
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  • Cannonsfire
    May 3, 2008

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    Happy Brithday to Guy from 'downunder' and if he can keep inspiring you to write for him like this...may he never grow a day older in your eyes. Love, C


  • arafura gold member
    May 3, 2008

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    As usual you write with such skill and such "heart"... A great birthday tribute my talented friend! Good luck in the contest!


  • Mallig gold member
    May 3, 2008

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    A marvelous dedication, such wonderful sentiments and phrasing, I really loved this!


  • Heart Sutra
    May 3, 2008
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    perfect!

    a great birthday present!

  • tara wilson gold member
    May 3, 2008
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    this is absolutely beautiful...I love all the light in this poem...a very powerful ending..I love this....

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    May 3, 2008
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  • IrishYndina
    May 3, 2008

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    Of course, being the nerdy plant biologist that I am, I am immediately thinking of phototaxis. I shouldn't weight your free poem with the shackles of scientific jargon, though - this is really such a beautiful piece. I love the lines "unsubtle as salt" and "guiless as a guitar" - they are both phenomenal images and fantastic examples of alliteration used correctly (and not over-used!). I feel like the third stanza deserves some form of punctuation at the end, after "heart's travels," and perhaps something at the very end of the poem as well, but then again, I always do pay too much attention to periods and commas. Overall, this not only flows well, but it progresses well, which is something not every poet has mastered (should have expected it from you, though ). The imagery and emotion is lovely and smooth, and the piece tells a story that ends with an epiphany. Absolutely fantastic!

    Hm, sorry I ramble so much... *laughs*

  • Rowan gold member
    May 3, 2008

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    Just off to work, but had to come and read some inspiration before I leave. You never fail me.
    This is so soft, so beautiful, so Nic.
    He's a lucky man.


  • PageTurner
    May 3, 2008

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    You radiate warmth and romance with your words.
    Your endearing smile is contagious, my Friend
    as is your Happiness...



    "my rooms turned a hand
    in the direction of the sun;"

    ...Sighhh.


    Your Doves Have Certainly Taken Wing!

    ~ Nicky♥

  • Suzanne Dia
    May 3, 2008

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    haha, Nicci, I so love that you have captured him so perfectly. He does storm in, doesn't he? It's one of the lovable things about him. There is no guessing at what he means or wants

    This is beautiful.


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 3, 2008
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      jaaaa, he knows what he wants and he is loveable, that guy thanks Suzie


  • And Hyetal
    May 3, 2008
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    ~~~

1 - 65 of 65