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My Unsteady Heart

I walk,
And walk,
And walk some more.
I run, jump, and play.

My short legs don't carry me far.

 

 

But from the back of my Whimsical Heart, 

I can go anywhere. 

 

 

To the deepest, darkest Seas of Trial,
Where black ocean meets black land.
Where Dark Creatures swim, Dark Creatures stir.
And no Citizen knows of Good.

To the love-lit Skies of Hope,
Where happiness and family abound.
Purple mountains and the cleanest of rains,
Co-exist with the most sun-swept marigold plains.

I have traveled to both lands (and more!), on the back of my Fanciful Heart.

And I;
Have come out Victor.
Have come out Loser.
Have even come out neither.

All the while,
I've been learning,
Through my travels near and far.

That even Hope has it's own problems,
And Trials always has a light.

That Silver Clouds have a dark outline,
And The Angels have clipped wings.

Good always comes with Bad,
Bad always comes with Good.



On the back of my Temperamental Heart,
I've learned Life isn't that harsh.


Author notes

I'd like if you could explain the metaphor of the back of the heart.

For the other contest I am in:
1. I've been on Allpoetry, since about... 2006?
2. Beide
3. I do not want to post that information on the internet, and I would appreciate if you would respect that.
4. Once or twice a day, one hour at a time.

A contest entry

Mistakes? Improvements that need to be made? Tips and tricks? I'd like some advice please.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Re-invention silver member
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And I;
    Have come out Victor.
    Have come out Loser.
    Have even come out neither.
    this is what stole my heart away...
    those lines.. so powerful and true.. great write!


  • Shancy Fayre
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this. It has really touched me. Thank you for sharing. Shancy.


  • aikoflavored
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this. it's stunning.
    Great word choice and flow. You really did a great job here.
    Keep it up, you're good.
    |aiko|

  • this is a great write. Keep up the great work.


  • ourgirlFriday
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!

    I think it's perfect just the way it is! Don't change it, keep it centered too...that's key in the flow and development of this piece. Wonderful, wonderful! Keep up such excellent work!


  • AbbyxGrace
    May 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow!

    this is truely AMAZING!! its dark and beautiful at the same time great job!


  • broken-colours
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "To the love-lit Skies of Hope,
    Where happiness and family abound.
    Purple mountains and the cleanest of rains,
    Co-exist with the most sun-swept marigold plains."

    This was definitely my favorite stanza. The imagery was breathtaking and crisp. Really enjoyed it! The rest of the poem was skillfully written, but this stanza stood out the most.

    Also, I love the way you captilised certain words, to pull more meaning out of them and emphasise them. Thanks for taking the time to enter and good luck!


    • Beide
      May 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much! I worked very hard on it, so I appreciate the compliments!

1 - 8 of 8