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Waiting At The Wedding


The bride is waiting at the door
Her hope is falling on the floor
The love of her life is hiding;
Heart stops beating and starts bleeding.

Anticipating joys and more
Now covered with sorrows and sore
Her gown is ripped;now she's fiending
Heart stops beating and starts bleeding.

Her fairytale's a powdered ore
Bitterness had found her soul's core
Her groom left her at their wedding
Heart stops beating and starts bleeding.







Author notes

A Kyrielle is a French form of rhyming poetry written in quatrains (a stanza consisting of 4 lines),
and each quatrain contains a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last
line of each stanza). Each line within the poem consists of only eight syllables. There is no limit
to the amount of stanzas a Kyrielle may have, but three is considered the accepted minimum.

Some popular rhyming schemes for a Kyrielle are: aabB, ccbB, ddbB, with B being the repeated
line, or abaB, cbcB, dbdB. (ShadowPoetry)

In a list

A contest entry

Insightful comments are truly appreciated

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • storiesuntold gold member
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh this is sad

    I can not imagine what it would be like to be so in love and excited and to wait and be left standing alone it has to be the ultimate pain from within that brings the heart to a shattering halt

  • storiesuntold gold member
    September 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Oh my goodness

    So sad this would be this is a very heart felt sad write indeed


  • storiesuntold gold member
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Oh my this has to be such pain

    To leave a princess without her groom within her heart feels pending doom she lokks about and as eyes tear she is a lost angel ever so dear . My eyes teared up on this one


  • sense surreal gold member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Kyrielle a newly heard form...anyways i'm not really good at forms hehe

    i can't even come up with a haiku lol

    well good for her
    for me it's still blessing in disguise
    rather suffer more in marriage

    fees and process of anullment whoa!!!
    masakit lang kasi mahal nya


    tsk tsk wedding is more of a formality

    but i love the thought this gives me
    plus it was written in form

    galing!
    Anna


  • Mirthryl
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent, high imagery refrain!
    You have consistently metered the first lines of each stanza (the first 2 lines in the first stanza) in strong iambic tetrameter. The poem would read more powerfully if you chose to use the same meter throughout.
    What a heart-rending event!


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for your entry

    I think one of the greatest pains in the world is to be left at the alter. You paint the picture well. Nice word usuage as well.

    The form was done well, my personal preference is to maintain the a,a,b,B ... or the a,b,a,B format So the rhyme scheme was a little off for me which gave the rhythm a little quirk to it.

    I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God Bless
    Tammy


  • Amera gold member
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad but written so well. The poem is in perfect octosyllable and fits the form with ease. Your image is vivid and to the point. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • 2lullabyhaven
    May 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this form has appeal and you flaired it with your own style - good luck in the contest

1 - 8 of 8