"We'll remain friends"
Those were your exact words.
I thought you never lied,
but they came in thirds.
After that lie,
you said you still loved.
But you wore that lie,
as if a glove.
Once more you decided,
to put me through pain.
All this hurt,
for your own gain.
You told me forever.
I'll be in your heart,
and this was the lie.
That tore me apart.
I've lost you, her
and the other.
It's such a shame,
he was like my brother.
But I will survive,
for atleast another night.
Because deep down.
I'm not alright...
Be gentle.
Comments
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Welcome To AP
Hello CyanideHappiness,
Aw, this is so very sad. It is really weird when you think about how many things do actually come in three's.
I do have a couple of suggestions for your poem.
"but they came in thirds"
came - come
"for atleast another night"
at least should have a space between it -
at least
Another thing that I am confused about
You put a period here
"and this was the lie.
That tore me apart "
I don't think a period should go there. I believe it would read better with a simple dash -
I hope that things get better for you.
Kari,
Greeter
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Thanks for the advice, i'll take it into consideration and make my next poem greater :]
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