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he looked like an unpolished diamond so i became quicksand




my toes
have stilled
for an
instant

only
to paint
on your face
something
that would
make Rembrandt
jealous

using cheap
watercolor
and a thin
paper sheet;

but no one
will have me
adhere to
incompatible
concrete.

the buildings
i rot in,
street-veined
from a
distance,

have been judged
based on texture
and heat.

this neurotic city
where the ocean
is only a
blockbuster

has nothing to do
with me:

i have dreams
of fire
too,

something
about a rooftop,
shouting, and

the fact that
my paintbrush
is still moist
from the shades
of your laughter.

only an instant
and back to the
bermuda triangle.




Author notes

in response to Kevin's i looked at medusa and she became quicksand. Go read it, it's much nicer than this thing.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • lively banter
    May 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    your friends are mean diana

    -cries-

    oh and the contest host gave you a nicer comment but i won a throphy and you didnt' weird

    -cries more-


    • Dienush
      May 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      You're my friend

      lol.

      And the trophy thing is 'cause your poem was better than mine Who knows why the comment.


  • princess hope
    May 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ive already said this to your partner, Thank you for writing who you are replying to in your author notes, i was surprized that not many people have done that.
    I loved you ideas, the connection that was made was clear yet didnt seem like an easy one to make.
    "the fact that
    my paintbrush
    is still moist
    from the shades
    of your laughter" ..I just simply LOVED the picture drawn here, wonderful wonderful thought! ,
    Thank you for your entry, and best of luck ,

  • vertigo beat
    May 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    dude, extremely well done. i mean it.


  • PersephoneInWinter
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    your response to kevin's poem is stunning! it has some of the same elements as his, yet as always, you add your own personal touch to your poems. i absolutely love how abstract your imagery is. your voice is very distinct! i believe that is one of your strengths that remains constant through most of your poetry!
    great write and good luck in the contest!


  • CaliOkie silver member
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The poem you refer to in your notes is very good, but this one has your special touch. No one writes the way you do. You are one of a kind. You create images in my mind with your words. You trigger thoughts and feelings that I never knew I had. Excellent.

    Garrison

    • Dienush
      May 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comments, Garrison. Much appreciated, though I don't think I have such a "touch". Perhaps you can see better..


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So much to love about your poem, Diana. I know i have said this SO many times but you really have the most imaginative and creative mind for poetry and poetic device.

    I read Kevin's too - and yours echo his beautifully, still your voice is personal and distinct. You do paint poetry so very well.

    ~ Nicolette

    • Dienush
      May 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot, Nicolette, I'm really glad you liked this as I haven't been so sure about this one. Although, I don't really think my voice is distinct; Kevin's is, much more than mine, if you see his other poetry Oh, and now that we're talking about distinct style, yours is very distinct as well.

      ~Diana

1 - 12 of 12