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Fresh Blood

The moody murkiness of the waters
pervades; lifeless, ugly, damning.
The choppiness lingers unwelcome.

Overwhelmingly crowded, stuffed, tainted.
Wantonly, stagnant; intensely inactive.
Yet, frolics boisterously in upon itself.

Uninspired monopoly manages minimum matters mundanely
Where the flow wanes, the pain remains unchanged, and eats upon itself.

Funnel clouds of congested fungi float the surface and multiplies.
But none of this really factors when dealing with dead waters.
It all becomes one giant pot of stew.

Pretend percolator wanna be(s) prop and dance,
hoping to make an impression and bring the 'sea' alive...
but deep only speaks to deep;
they die in their denial.

Spotted; an opening, looming front/center.
Glowing/illuminating in its essence and presence.
Undeniable.....fresh, living waters...

Author notes

(viii) Sea change.

A contest entry

Overlook made up words

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Lyndon gold member
    May 26, 2008

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    Well, you have 120 exactly!

    Thank you for attending to Pamela.
    Some of your alliteration aurally enacts the words' meanings. Some such as "Uninspired monopoly manages minimum matters mundanely" seems contrived because I am not sure that the alliteration is doing anything but showing you can use it. I acknowledge that my colleague loves it. So, there you are!
    On the other hand, the 't' and 'st' sounds of consonants inn stanza two are highly effective in spitting out a vehemence without your having to say so!
    Being a fuss-pot, I would transpose 'only':
    but deep only speaks to deep=> but deep speaks only to deep.
    You have given a particular and meaningful impression of "Sea Change".
    Thank you for this poem. Lyndon of the Winklings.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    May 19, 2008

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    Only 117 words, three short of contest specs, still a wonderful work.

    "Uninspired monopoly manages minimum matters mundanely" Wonderful use of alliteration in this line. Simply wonderful. I love it love it love it.

    Wonderful words. Thank you for this. ~Pamela


  • individuality gold member
    May 3, 2008

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    Uninspired monopoly manages minimum matters mundanely
    - i am glad that is not the s sound lol i would be spitting my tongue out a good poem.

1 - 6 of 6