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Soooo Underwhelmed

Peanuts...minutiae...small potatoes
Dash it all to smitering's ghost clad lands.
Moms - it ain't worth you missing her prompt years...
Dads - how dare you swindle your way out of spending quality time?
They only grow up once...

Bills, frills, nills;  just ripples is all, don't sweat it...
Hair falling out, worried, nail biting leading to violent fighting.
Screw it all; these things are just here for distractions
another means to the end of your void interchange;

Hollywood, tinsel wood, paper props, hoop-loop shots, id-ots.
lame is the game leading to fame; what a shame...man/dame.
Spoilage covers people too; snatch a veiled clue.

Living large - posh cars - interchanges (dull hues) you choose!
Out of sight, recovering? binge on life; it pays.
blocked society, sniffled reality, domesticated silliness-es.
Raw, rare, rich is the perch that oversees the true intensities.
Book your cue from the rich river of ravenous ray's reels.

Being the proverbial fly on the wall, I suppose my perspective
out-delivers theirs, their grasp is so restricted, limiting and limited.
Who has those cue-clue cards? who has the audacity to really live/out loud.
But to make a whole lot of noise without making a whole lot of sense...
stinks too, this fly is soured on his panoramic view...too little to look at,
too much gray, no colour.

Hey, man...can you spray some of that bug spray my way? I've had my fill.

A contest entry

Overlook made up words

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    May 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I meant to say: Very interesting title.
    You might let us know how we could perhaps 'overwhelm' you.

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Okay so having discredited any grandeur to the 'void interchanges', I was hoping that you'd sweep them aside... or let them drop like flies!

    But you didn't, instead follows further description of all that, which you were invited to leave.
    You've written it very well mind you, it has a cutting edge which I really like.

    I wanted to hear from 'your perch' about 'your perch' and new vision rather than the gloat and judgement on what is left behind underneath. Now it hasn't been left behind... if you see what I mean.

    I do wish I'd sent you a few deadly fly sprays to make use of before you put the pen to the paper, I bet you'd have won gold... but some how I don't think so this time. Great as it is and with much thanks to you for entering, I have to say that in my eyes... you failed to 'die'.
    Congratulations, but until you decide you want to, I believe that you will find it hard to find such new life which this can bring about.

    Lively and dynamic
    Great judgements and opinions
    never the less - all great fuel for the fire, which never saw the touch-paper.

    Thanks for providing this though, I enjoyed it, and please let me know when you decide to have one (a 'fire'). Perhaps we can have a garden party with a BBQ and see what happens then.

    All the best to you lullaby

    Sol




  • NurseChilly gold member
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so small, like ants we scurry through life, i suppose it has a healthy respect for the smallest things we have, yet i do feel that this write, albeit humourous and evocative of the contest ideals, could and should have dug a little deeper in the garden of beauty and maybe if the ants had died and the bugs withered on the final vines. then the blossoming of small deathly breaths would have shone more

    i applaud this piece and many thanks for entering our contest

    well done

    G.x

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    May 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So never mind the 'distractions', all is new. What about 'after' the 'bug spray' has had it's effect? Good luck, Sol


  • crimsondew
    May 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You have expressed sycophancy and other unwants real well here..if only people be what they are take off their masks...and let others be so too..Wonderful poem dear..All the best in the contest!
    Keep smiling!


  • individuality gold member
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ah the way of the world in some corners of reality, waiter, there is a fly in my soup, sorry you must be mistaken, your soup is the cheap one, our flies only swim in the best soup


    • 2lullabyhaven
      May 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well when one is just so anxious they may opt for the cheap bowl if they can get there quicker hahahaha


  • whits end silver member
    May 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting, my friend. You have quite a way with words, poet. Bravo!


  • BehindTheShadow
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I think this was quite creative, and extremely interesting. I enjoyed it very much and best wishes in the contest!!

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