Illumination.
Splendorous, voluminous.
Skin prickles -
warmth; absorbing
essence of life.
Fingertips exploring
new sensations; sliding
into soft, warm
loam - like silk.
Infinitesimal particles
of dust, playfully
dancing, direction
dependent on all else;
simultaneously restricted
and released.
Fragrance surrounding,
pulsating with own
life; entering nostrils
with unspoken permission.
Acidic tang of mandarin
skins and salubrious
smell of sunshine.
Silence audible,
tranquility resounding,
broken ecstatically with
bird-song; pervading
all spaces. Clamorous,
effortlessly up-lifting.
Eyes look into eyes,
releasing misguided
belief; falsifications
abandoned. Presence of
Love revealed, perpetuating
instinctive knowledge.
I see,
I am,
wholeness.
Within and without,
all-encompassing.
Awake.
In a list
A contest entry
- Life and Death - Options by Thoughts-of-Soloman.
1750 points, ended May 27, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
-
I can see a lot of Sol in this work. Which is probably a very good thing, seeing as you look up to his work and he to yours. My only issue is that some of the bigger words seem to take some of the intensity away. But only slightly. Especially in the fourth and fifth stanza. That ending reminds me of some of his work, which is always so alive. It is nice to see a little bit of him in this. Hopefully you don't find it insulting, or that I am implying you copied, because in no way am I. I just really loved some of the poetry and how it feels like it could be written by him. That ending is so careful and well chosen.
One of those poems that keeps your attention.
Lovely.
;
-
-
Well, I will take that as the biggest compliment!! And if that's what you see in it, no doubt it is because it's written for his wonderful contest prompt.
Thank you.
-
-
I figured you would.
And yes that's the way I see it, at least.
Sol is amazing, isn't he?
-
-
-
great use of vocabulary! i think it's so impressive when people use big/unique/rarely used words. thanks for the entry!
-
Ahhh, this is very insightful! Thinking outside the box
Can never go wrong there! Congrats on Silver, and good luck on Gold
-
I don't want to stop reading this. I keep going back for more...
Depth that feels light...I know that makes no sense but that's the best I can describe it! lol This sets a tone that makes me want to just sit in silence...catch a breath...this is brilliant. Your words are perfect...I almost fell out of my chair when you said you were trying to edit to get to that deeper level !! What!?!? WOW.
If you are going to Up your game on a piece like THAT....I seriously have to dive into your page face first.
(If I had to judge this contest I think I would have faked an illness) Congrats on the Silver!
-
-
Wow! Thank you so much! (I was just commenting on you at the same time you were commenting on me, lol)
The sitting in silence to just breathe is actually exactly what I did to inspire this, and depth that feels light, I know what you mean.
Thanks so much for reading
-
-
congratulations..
I like the sense of growth in this the process of awakening, like a seed once sprouted..
-
Very nice imagery expressed here, and actually reminds me a little bit of the gold winner also..."I see, I am, wholeness. Within and without, all-encompassing. Awake." Very neat phrase to end with...also like your name by the way!
-
You have done a very admirable piece of writing here.
Leaping with your imagination, memory and knowledge,
straight into the mid-stream of the prompt. There are touches of uniqueness expressed, which are most often provided, only through having contemplated and given yourself to the subject.
A beautiful poem which I believe could still be taken further...
but there again... I always think that.
For your amusement, this is what I see reflected:
Light, widths of space.
Vivification and comfort.
Praise to be alive.
Awareness of the subtle
'Infinitesimal particles
of dust, playfully
dancing, direction
dependent on all else;
simultaneously restricted
and released.' - Wonderful observation and description!
Qualities of Beauty
('smell of sunshine' - unique, wonderful, excellent inclusion.
'Silence audible' - Terrific!
Pointing towards the unspoken.
Omnipresence of Life
Belonging without doing
Praising the richness
Freedom
Compassion, Belief and openness
And giving ones self to this
knowing in wisdom that it's the best medicine
in order to be alive and awake.
Thanks very much for such a well considered entry to the contest.
Sol -
-
Thank you very much for your well considered and comprehensive comment, Sol.
I am glad you appreciate the observations, I did try to put myself fully in the position the prompt invited. I agree, however, that it could have been taken further than just the 'physical' aspects that I have explored. I'm sure one day I will keep your 'prompt' in mind for a more in-depth poem of exploration.
Many thanks for the wonderful invitation.
Lucy
-
-
now this, this has light and logic and the smallest particles to glimpse into what it's like, to know what life is, when its all new and alive, after the smallest death we become big enough to breathe..
this has got so much in there, although, i would have liked to have seen it go a little deeper, but maybe it wasn't right when you initially wrote it to go deeper, but maybe now? sometimes we hold a little back in order to hide behind the light, that shines in front and behing..
much illumination here, joyous to see
me be liking, a lot
G.x
well done and many thanks for entering our contest -
-
You are too clever. When I initially wrote it I knew there was a deeper level there, but couldn't get it at the time (that's why I had 'still editing' on my AN for ages). But I gave up waiting for it to come, hadn't tried recently though. Maybe one day, after contest finished...
You are welcome, my pleasure
-
-
this is all a person feels, sees etc when awake, I had to read it twice and got a little ping when I realized what you were talking about, good show.
-
Splendiforous
Wow, Skye... What a rich and beautiful poem you've created here... It pulled me in and through your waking ritual by the power of your words and imagery... I was there...
Thank you for the journey...
Ken -
That was a feast!
I really enjoyed how you included all the senses to
make us salivate and feel each word in your poem.
Smartly written and just lovely to appreciate and enjoy!
well done poet! well done!
ears/Seattle
-
-
Thank you Now that I know that your entry is the 'right' one
I'll go and leave a comment.
-
-
Great imagery! Best of luck in your contest.
-
I think you captured the essence of "coming back"... I really like this tour of discovery... the senses returning and your reactions... Elegant in it's simplicity... Well done, Lucy!
Ken
-
oohh I like it I think it's good how it is... raw emotionally charged and full of wonderful immagery. If you do edit send me the link so I can revisit
-
amazingly descriptive
i really like it epically in that you use few words per line in a somewhat similar fashion to myself. amazingly descriptive in reading you can almost see and smell everything you talk about. great poem
. Rewarded 4
-
Thanks for entering. Plenty of time for editing, if you want to. Good luck, Sol
-
What amazing language you have used in this... I felt the awakening, the breathing of life into someone.. and I love the ending, of feeling complete and whole!
Wonderful write!
-
a good flow and good use of alliteration here, the atmosphere is soft and gentle giving out smiles and calm sighs as i read it anyway a good piece.
. Rewarded 4
-
This definitely woke me up! Great imagery. This is beautiful, intelligent and unexpected. Thank you for this pleasant surprise this evening!
. Rewarded 4
-
A beautiful and deep piece, beautifully written. Thought provoking as well and a very smooth read. The way it flows is just perfect. The last stanza is a perfect ending. Well done
. Rewarded 4
-
your few words per line suite this poem well. it is deep and shows you have profound thoughts. thanks for sharing
spreading love,
miley
Adding your comment:
1 - 27 of 27
