Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Bumming

Sometimes
You find
It's the railroad ties that bind
Keeping parallel lines
From ever touching
So like carefree hoboes
We hop on-board
And ride the rails for free
Not really knowing
Where the train is going
Because we never bought a ticket
We always end up
At the end of the line
And never learning
We get what we pay for...


Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Pyragus
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    does hoboes have an 'e' like that Wow I have been spelling it wrong this whole time


    • zt
      January 23
      Edit | Reply
      Actually, it can be spelt either way.


  • myrataal silver member
    July 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Could choices be our "tickets"?

    And ... could Someone else pay for us? These questions were instigated by your write, zt. And: myriads of possibilities sprung from your poem.



    How are you, Poet? I hope fine.

    Love
    Myra

    • zt
      July 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'm good, fair poet. I hope you are at least as good as me. As for your questions, if you had a ticket (whether paid for by someone else or by choice) then you would have a seat and not be on top of the boxcar...


  • samm
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is really short and to the point
    i like it.


  • Sarah957
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is a lot more to this than meets the eye, and I'm sure I didnt absorb all of it, but what I do understand is wise and a bit sad. "We get what we pay for" when we "ride the rails for free" It makes me wonder what you were reflecting on when you wrote this. The rhyme scheme is great and this is easy to read and understand yet has a message worth reflecting on. I knew there was a reason you were one of my favorites!

  • Pyragus
    May 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    We get what we pay for

    This line has so many possible meanings for me, the most current one being... I didnt get married to Andrew I didn't pay for my love and it didnt last forever like I wanted it to, of course there were extenuating circumstances in my case but I love that line its like a life lesson. Great poem zt, nice with the rhyming by the way.

    ~kar


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What an awesome poem!
    I started this poem with a completely different idea of where it was going, but was delighted by its whimsy and the contagious bounce in its rhythm.
    The ending was a wonderful message, too.
    I felt that, while the surface value was quite wonderful, this was a metaphor for something much deeper and more meaningful than where "free rides" take you.
    Of course, that could be me projecting myself on the poem. LOL.
    So happy to see you posting again... I miss your writing so much.

1 - 8 of 8