"shut that pretty little mouth darling,
it's more trouble than your worth."
grab the gauze & medical tape
(don't let your ♥ p-p-palpitate)
bind your [sobbing] wrists to the bathroom floor
and sew those *glittering* green eyes shut;
after Hell spat you back out again,
you had nothing left to die for.
tear the page off the calendar like he tore.your.♥
(ohh, here we go again)
and now that it's [bloody; brutal; battered] tuesday
you can BREAK down in the bathroom.stall
[kicking & screaming; crying & bleeding]
bby, you make carnage look like couture;
girls would kill to cough up hollywood like you.
burn the notes & eat yer words
(he wasn't worth the wasted effort)
everyone knows your lungs have iced-over
and your veins are laced with kerosene
[but] despite the knowledge of your condition,
they throw l-l-lit matches at your feet.
now yer standing onthe rooftop
(taking your daily.dose of a gun barrell);
just wait until the lightning strikes
in the center of your [quivering] ribcage.
so grit your teeth & bear.the.pain.
[this won't be the last time you stop breathing]
Author notes
he knows.
In a list
be honest.
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
-
Wow.
I have had this bookmarked for months, and each time I read it it has the same impact.
This is such an amazing piece, I can't pick out my favourite lines, cos I'd end up re-writing the entire poem down here.
I'm sorry you felt this way when you wrote it though
But WOW are you talented.
Shelly
x
-
wow! your imagery is stunning and your emotions are incredible. the tone of this piece really helped wrap all of those together to make this great.
-
mon dieu. your imagery is so amazing it grosses me out && yet still fascinates me. seriously, i was eating raisin bread while reading this && i totally stopped eating but kept reading. lol!! you're awesome babe!
-
I really enjoyed this poem, but the very best was the way it ended. I really think this is the best.
-
This is the best of the three I think.
-
Lets see here I wish to make a comment, but I'm so mind recked by what you wrote. Damn girl are you on a stedy diet of, I eat my own heart out with a nice side of grave yard dirt and to wash it all down with a quart of black ink? Audrey Evans
-
grab the gauze & medical tape
(don't let your ♥ p-p-palpitate)
bind your [sobbing] wrists to the bathroom floor
and sew those *glittering* green eyes shut;
after Hell spat you back out again,
you had nothing left to die for.
wow,like,amazing much?
i love all of the punctuation,
i write dp,but i dont like doing all of that,
but your really good at it =) -
-
thnak you loove.
D
-
-
I can really feel the emotions in this. I really like this. There's so much pain here. I just love the way that it ends
[this won't be the last time you stop breathing]
♥ -
I never understood why people try so hard to put themselves in relationships when they don't know how to respect, care or treat their significant others.
They act as though you can't live without them when deep down... it's the other way around. They're so afraid of being alone and yet they abuse those they get close to. Sometimes verbally, sometimes physically and often both.
Oblivious to the pang they cause on a global scale.
-
[this won't be the last time you stop breathing]
I know how you feel babydoll,,
♥ ♥
[[Alexsis]]
-
first of all, the title is crazy amazing... i love it.
the metaphors and imagery in this is so cool, and i love the raw truth in this.
-
Amazing! I don't really know if this is supposed to be dirty pretty or not. but if it is, its probably the best I've seen on AP for a long time.
Keep It Up!
-Erica = -
"(ohh, here we go again)
and now that it's [bloody; brutal; battered] tuesday
you can BREAK down in the bathroom.stall
[kicking & screaming; crying & bleeding]
bby, you make carnage look like couture;
girls would kill to cough up hollywood like you."
just amazing
-
you opened this so beautifully, it's so tragic! I know exactly how you feel in many ways and I doubt I'll ever feel any different for him as we broke up 8 months ago and I still love him to pieces.
-
wow this is like phenomenal its perfect babe like seriously it blew me away
-
woah, nice, destructively beautiful, (if theirs such a thing ^^,) , as I read it, it dazzled my mind, inflaming it with desire to read and read, so great job with the metaphors, it had great impact on me
"sew those *glittering* green eyes shut"
i have to say... Godness!!, best line made me wana finish reading your write,, err that line is always repeating in my mind, sew those glittering green eyes shut ^^, well done,, claps claps claps
-
Very beautiful. At the beginning, I wasn't quite sure if I'd like this poem very much because sometimes people get caught up in dirty pretty and use so many metaphors it makes the poem itself crap out. This is one of the best writes I've come across on AP. Good job.
-
man this is intense and i wonder the reason behind it =D its good and emotional
-
=D wow. i think i've found a new favorite poem on allpoetry.
it's really great.
and it almost makes me smile and cry at the same time, becuse it's so emotional, but so good, also.
-
Pretty wild.
Seems like ya couldn't wait to say it.
Rather intense.
Blessings,
LOWELL POE -
I agree, your last line was brilliant. A wonderful summation of the piece. As a whole the piece was amazing, just little things bothered me in all honesty. 'bby' instead of baby. It's nothing major and it doesn't in any way make the piece any less meaningful. Kudos
-
wow... this was good. i like the last line a lot.. this wont be the last time you stop breathing... that was great!
-
yea this is nice. Its not nice but its "nice" you know? Like when you pour zippo fluid on your hand and let it burn for a while. "bby, you make carnage look like couture"-I really liked that line, and the last two just make the whole thing for me
-
-
aww thank you!!
the sad part...this is about me.
XD
so actually, this is
a true story.
but i'm glad you like it.
-
-
oh my god. you are a freaking GENIUS. this is the most amazing poem i've read. nice write!!!!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 26 of 26
