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Intimacy

outside
gates are swinging
in the weave
of winter winds:

open close open close
open close ...
slowly swaying
on their
breathless hinges

inside
I am falling falling
through sky-blue
into songs
of eyes

doors click to a close

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • leo2
    May 10, 2008

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    Congratulations on the well deserved award. I do appreciate the glimpse behind that closed door, poetically speaking, of course. You've revealed a facet of love in your masterfully subtle way that I can only hope to obtain in pratice and poetry.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • deercatcher
    May 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the gold. It is almost one of those zen cones; or a face seen in the grass in youur peripheral vision that dissappears when you try to examine closely. I had to tell myself, think metaphor! Then feel... don't think

    Then one understands


    Please to peruse my entry, then http://allpoetry.com/poem/4165251


  • RunningFree
    May 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Mundane Imagery Made Magical

    I love how you've taken the everyday imagery of a gate and made it into an expression about intimacy.

    open close open close
    open close ...
    slowly swaying
    on their
    breathless hinges

    Absolutely masterful! Thank you for entering this in my contest.


    • myrataal silver member
      May 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you for sensing the subtle sensuality ...

      and for appreciating the high value I place on private moments.

      Blessed be in your own poetic expressions.

      Love
      Myra


  • quantumsurveyor
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "falling through sky-blue into songs of eyes..." what an encaptivating line in this charged love poem. Your power in so few words is outstanding and astounding.

  • tara wilson gold member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww....I love the falling feel in this...this has a wonderful flow..and a beautiful, soft sensuality about it...love this


  • CaliOkie silver member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    open close open close
    open close ...
    slowly swaying
    on their
    breathless hinges

    What beautiful imagery -- and metaphor as well. Love's heart is like the swinging gate opening to admit, closing to hold something in.

    Very intimate indeed. So gentle, quite, and peaceful. Home is where we are when the doors click to a close. Holding on to someone in your heart that you can not bear to let go.

    This works on so many levels. So much meaning in so few words. Masterful!

    Garrison


  • catz Moderators member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful !! I love when we can take a little everyday moment and weave it into superb poetry as you've done with this.

    I wish you best of luck in the contest

    Dee


  • poeticweaver gold member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderfully Weaved!

    Thanks for sharing, and I like your wording!
    Pen on, and keep up the great works.

    -Timothy

1 - 9 of 9