Sweet flower, reach high,
while blossoms lift lightened paths of nature’s beauty,
passioned, powerful propellers of bursting hearts to brightened potential.
I feel you invigorate future seasons, distant depths;
out of bounds of any negatives.
I see you in umbrellas of our southern sky,
spreading into a sunny, eucalyptus scent,
exploding into a welcome air of
Australian anticipation.
A contest entry
- #71 at Winklings for members and Friends from Allpoetry. by Lyndon.
3000 points, ended June 7, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is a lovely poem ...
and certainly would be nice to read on a freezing day in February in the middle of a snowstorm here in Iowa.
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Thank you, ecrivain 01
I am honoured to have such comments from a poet of your calibre. -
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Calibre?
Makes me sound like a handgun, when actually I'm a loose cannon.
I hope you're having a good week.
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With this you have given so much life and beauty to the flower. These words lifts the heart as well . Congratulations on your bronze for this lovely poem.
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A beautifully descriptive write...I could almost smell the lovely scented air. These lines:
"I feel you invigorate future seasons, distant depths;
out of bounds of any negatives."...really touched me.
Congratulations on the Bronze!
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You describe the Eucalyptus tree so vividly.
They do look as though they'll explode and send forth their perfume for all of us to appreciate.
A very lovely write.
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This is a celebratory poem
of the familiarity of and love for eucalyptus flower-heads. The obviously painted picture augmnents the poem.You are passionate. Alliteration serves you well.
The dominant figure of speech is the apostrophe of address where you break out successfully and address the flower. For poetry, I may write 'brightened potentiality' as 'brightened potential'.
Each stanza has a verb of explosive excitement: bursting; invigorate; exploding.
I really liked the simple, two-lined second stanza. You did well to keep it apart.
Thank you for this enjoyable poem.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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thank you, Lyndon
I am pleased you enjoyed my poem. I have edited as you suggested.
Yes, I do see the flower heads as explosive, as though they are releasing something to the Aussie sky...perhaps it is a unique character which only Aussies can understand.
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Here is it at 10am on 20th May and the autumn sun is streaming through my study window and I rejoice in the warmth, the shades and the flowers outside my window. This is the 'sun' in Australia I love, then our Spring sun will begin to revive the buds, the grasses and trees bringing a different kind of beauty, your poem is just as exquisite!
~Von - Brisbane
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thank you rufina caraid
for the wonderful comments. I can see that we share the same feelings about the Aussie sun.
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happy write for the prompt . . liked "while blossoms lift lightened paths" and "exploding into a welcome air" . . good luck in the contest . .
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Wonderful sweet I see and smell the beauty of the flower...the gentleness of your words and it pulls a sigh niaish for sharing with and much luck in the contest
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Great poem and painting--good luck in the contest! Especially like "Sweet flower, reach high" and "umbrellas of our souther sky."
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this is gret i love the alliteration used to' its beautiful best of luck
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great alliteration here, especially in the opening verse, ah the sun, it has made a guest appearance here the last few days a good poem.
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