This never ending round of starting over,
Of stepping free from chains of broken trust,
Leaves little trace of who I was behind me,
Save broken dreams and footprints in the dust
But do not follow these to try to find me,
To seek revenge or beg me to come home,
For you will find a stranger in my footprints,
Who wants nothing, save to be left alone
With the morning’s breezes blowing cold behind,
Blowing closed the doors I had left ajar,
Footprints’ empty outlines soon get filled by dust,
But dust won’t save the empty lies we are
This never ending round of starting over,
Of stepping free from chains of broken trust,
Leaves little trace of who I was behind me,
Save broken dreams and footprints in the dust
To be cont’d
Author notes
What else should our lives be but a series of beginnings, of painful settings out into the unknown, pushing off from the edges of consciousness into the mystery of what we have not yet become.
David Malouf
A contest entry
- New Beginings by Akarian.
600 points, ended May 13, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think?
Comments
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Wonderful extended metaphor! I really, really like the idea of this journey - it's so true how people like to leave their "doors...left ajar" to keep options open when they are too painful to leave, and how time closes them, here, in a harsh way, but also in a satisfying way too.
Moving on can be very rewarding, and heart-breaking too.
I love this. You write as though could be speaking to me specifically- great words
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I love this.
'This never ending round of starting over'
The feeling of renewing/retrying is exactly what we keep doing as we traverse life. Sometimes the 'dreams' we long for either don't materialise or leave us in the reality that the situation we dreamed for has different sides we never knew existed, or wanted.
It's especially hard when life deals you a hard blow through illness/accident and you have to go through some very low times. Yet, some of us face this with a reflective outlook that can help in some ways, for we cannot go round life, we can only go through it.
I know it's a dark line, but there is also echoes of optimism in this line:
'Blowing closed the doors I had left ajar'
The fact that the person had left the doors ajar means that there is a refusal to give up until life closes the doors, and then rather than seek revenge, the poem suggests that the person still wants to leave a trace of themselvs behind. Thus they still value who and what they are beyond the pain of illness. I too have had a time when illness was pouring me into an early grave, and I'm now watching someone very close do the same (not same illness) These words are timely and comforting, in sharing the inner soul. Thank you.
Lianonsidhe
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i like it, visual and powerfull. i think the second "to" in the first line of the second stanza should be changed to an "and", it flows better in my head anyway. Also you use blowing twice in the third stanza too close together, I would try to find a diferent word.
Good job and good luck!
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