She splits the past
and fathoms the future –
fleeting seconds, beating atoms, breathing patterns;
she is what is, liquid which glimpsed her lips nor
droplets not yet hanging from a ceiling,
as cool air shifts to steam for
constant momentary feeling.
A contest entry
- Define reality for me. by Cesarean.
1200 points, ended May 3, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Quite endearing. And lovely imagery.
I've looked over a couple of your pieces (like 14). Your style has grown immensely and your willingness to take critique and revise is fantastic. I'm putting stock in you, expecting to seem some really incredible stuff in the not-too-distant future.
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Thank you, I've read a lot of your work as well (sorry I'm not much for commenting, but if I can't think of anything all that constructive to say I prefer not to - and I have a great deal of respect for your work as is. concise, well written).
Although I do just write recreationally, not through studies, so progress may be slow and will be by chance.
=> Jess
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So much said with so few words. A hydrogen bomb love affair...with air conditioning! I love it!
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