Puir is your blate an' dowie face,
Wee scuddler o the pudding race!
Ablo them a ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or winkie;
Ye might be wordy o a grace
As shorts my pinkie!
The peerie ashet there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a wee mole-hill,
A pinch o daich from oot the mill
Is a we need,
While thro your pores nae dews distil
A stane should bleed!
(Twa verses is enuech for a sausage roll!)
Author notes
With sincere apologies to Robert Burns.
Scots glossary:
puir poor
blate modest
dowie unhappy
scuddler kitchen-hand
ablo below
a all
tak take
painch stomach
winkie a non-Scots euphemism!
wordy worthy
peerie little
ashet plate
hurdies buttocks
daich dough
nae no (quantity)
stane stone
twa two
eneuch - enough
In a list
- Homages to other poets and authors... • next in list
- Laugh, willya! • next in list
- Scotland • next in list
- A List of Tribute Poems to Bonnie Scotland and to Great Scots Writers like Irvine Welsh, William McGonagall & Robert Burns etc. • next in list
A contest entry
- Sausage Rolls by Melodies.
600 points, ended May 6, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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I have a Scots name (Donald Campbell - honest!) and enjoy the Broons in their But & Ben so I almost got this one. Sounds great I mun say. I found this wee bit of dialect which might fit (LOL) Thair buttokis bosterit wp behind, A fartigall to gathair wind; Maitl. F. clxxviii. 126.
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A'Dhonuill Cam Beul!
Aye, that might fit too!
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Slainche! Or is that another language?
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It is; it's the Gaelic word "slainte", meaning health.
Basically we have three languages in Scotland.
1. English, which is the language of communication, education, media, and (except for specialist terms) law.
2. Scots, which is the demotic language of the South and East. It is arguable whether it is, or is any more, a language in its own right, having been always a sister language to English, having never held an official status, having never been standardised by a learned body, and now having come much closer to English by the influence of the latter. It occupies a position relative to English similar to that of a dialect, or a collection of dialects, though it is considered politically unacceptable in Scotland to refer to it directly as a dialect.
3. Gaelic, once the language of the entire Highlands; now native speakers are largely confined to the Westernmost islands of the Hebrides, but it has been revived and taught more widely during the past few decades. It is unlike English, being a celtic language most closely related to Irish. It does have its own radio and TV channels.
Still awake? -
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Dinna fash yersel' a'm nae daft aud gowk!
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A cute little ditty
I had to translate it to get the real gist of it. It sounded like my Father in Law. He came from Airdre about 1900 but until I got to know him he was really hard to understand.
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Jings! Even I cannae unnerstaund a word they say in Airdrie!
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OH!
Imagine that! A Scottish delight! What an intriguing write... gave me a big smile! Happiness is dancing about with a sausage roll. 
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I'm hungry. I'm awa tae get wan!
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They are never respected in their own country!
I enjoyed the read, though I used the glossary too. I like Burns' rhyme form; this is a sweet parody. Good luck!
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Och it's no' sweet - it's savoury!
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This is simply wonderful, I don't like Haggis but I love sausage rolls and I love your poem.
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{passing you the plate}
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am I from another planet ?
I didn't understand a single word of this poem ...
thanks goodness you added the glossary ...
I must admit that I didn't get the meaning of this verse either ...
feeling like standing all alone in a corner while everybody has a great laugh enjoying the party ...
oh, it's hard sometimes to be a foreigner ...
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We're all foreigners somewhere, Marion.
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Cronin vilifiers...
thank god ya posted a glossary. i almost thought you talkin' a language they refuse to speak in Glasgow, Montana. i'm still a bit wound roun dee wee vine, but may toddle boons nir bilch da sender (no glossary here)
interpret: I'm still a bit confused about what you said, but I will find a blender soon to make more drinks.
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Ah, well, I am parodying a famous Scottish poem by Robert Burns, addressed to our national dish - the Haggis. I thought it was appropriate, because I was writing about the haggis's baby cousin - the sausage roll.
(make one for me - I'm parched)
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A wonderful rollicking rhyme! I love the dialect. This really made me smile. Best to you, and good luck in the contest!
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The Ploughman Poet would undoubtedly consume a large number of such items these days!
I can relate much better to this than to the original
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I think I just learned a new language! Perhaps it would be better to go to a restaurant rather then try to eat a winkie. Anyway; great rhyme and odd image. Hehe...
Love,
Amera
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The funny thing is, if I walked into my local cafe and ordered a sausage roll, I might be served a couple of grilled sausages in a bap (a bap is maybe what an American would call a biscuit) as easily as sauasage meat in flaky pastry.
As for eating a winkie... I think we'll draw a veil over that subject!
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I kind of like your canny verse
(If I'd of tried, it would be worse!)
Nice one,
Bill
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I thought of extending this, but I'm at work, and no' (really) a native speaker of Scots at it's maist braid. Maybe I'll work on it at some future stage.
Glad you like it.
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