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The Pick-up Line

 

 

 

 

Pardon me, but haven’t we

met before, perhaps

in another life

 

as lovers rapt in passion

so intense, that we

could hardly stand it

 

as our bodies writhed

with such fervor that

sensual heat caused

 

temperatures to rise

before satisfaction was

realized, only to be started

 

over and over again until

carnal hungers were satiated with

pleasures we never knew existed…

 

or am I mistaken?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Any thoughts or theories? If so, let me hear them, or, talk amongst yourselves.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • perfectsunset gold member
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh beautifully sensual and mystique. I really enjoyed your play on words; imagery and metaphor pouring from within.

    Amazing write!
    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, you're a smooth one, Michael! A very poetic pick.up line this is...hmmm now i'm wondering....would you like her to say yes or no? So enjoyed this one, my friend.

    ~ Nicolette


  • tara wilson gold member
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lolol...there are people we meet & instantly have this sort of wave come over us that perhaps it must have been like this between us in a past life or something...good pick up line, Micheal


  • mzmikki
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... This is the best pick up line I've heard in all my life.. If anyone tried that pick up line on me I'd have to say... I don't remember but let's go somewhere and see if the amnesia wears off!!! Amazing write... Its always a pleasure t read!!


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haha... if somebody used this pick-up line on me (in these exact words) I'd be so enraptured by his cleverness and talent I wouldn't care that it was a pick-up line.
    I'd say "hell yes, we did!"
    But, of course, pick-up lines are never this gorgeous or creative. They're always something lame, miserable and intolerable.

    Leave it to you to make pick-up lines cool.


  • LittleMoon silver member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow MJ, what a write but I bet you would never of had the guts to say anything like that to a girl back in your wild and single youth. Too sophiscated for a young man though.


  • TheNymph
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow nice work. 100% for originality, i think most girls would be pretty hard pressed to knock that 'line' back, and i say that as one who hates chat up lines. quirky and well written, well done.


  • michichoeret
    May 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    nicely written

    rather but am sure you will get your face slapped...
    try a different pick-up line


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You're not mistaken...

    You know my thoughts on this subject already dear and yes, it's a wonderful pick-up line.


    Love Margaret


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well now!! That is some pick up line!! I've heard many of them in my time... but I think that one might actually work!!

    This is awesome!

1 - 10 of 10