beauty has struck me
its guided my eyes
to something secret
to so many lies
this pain it kills me
its coming
at last
this pain if fills me
first slowly
then fast
I can't believe my eyes
I'm blinded
with joy
shes working my soul
designing her ploy
to stop me
to start me
to tear me apart
to get deep inside me
and ruin my heart
my hand has been forced
I have no choice
but to harm myself
and ignore the voice
I will destroy it
I swear I can
I'll destroy my heart
and be a real man
because the way I see it
I must call it quits
I could give it to her
and she would smash it to bits
or I could die with honor
I could die from the slits
A contest entry
- Please, I want your best! by Cat10.
850 points, ended May 3, 2008, 62 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think in general? Improvements?
Comments
-
thanks for entering! this is a really, really powerful piece! you did an amamzing job with the flow, rhyme, and emontions! good luck
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