Maybe he thought that if he sculpted her--
chiseled out the shape of her wide eyes,
molded with tools her lovely cheek bones and small chin,
formed with precision the slight down-turn of her gaze--
that he could touch her,
that he could smooth her nose between his two thumbs,
as if to wipe her tears,
that he could trace her brow softly with his fingertips,
and bring them down again to caress the swell of her lips.
But even in his rendering, he could not forget her veil.
As we walk away from this beauty in white shadows,
arm in arm,
I feel the lace of your dress
brush against my patient skin
and wonder
if I will ever truly know you.
Author notes
The Prompt:
The photo art above - credit to:
Title - The Veiled Nun
Artist: Giuseppe Croff (Italian, d. 1869)
date c. 1860, medium: marble, size: 15 in. (height)
In a list
A contest entry
- The Veil... Quick PIF - No Greens by Peteskid.
1000 points, ended May 8, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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First let me applaud. Two reasons, but both will be explained in the comment.
First, the veil. Even someone who explores so deeply, he sees a veil, he still cannot go into the necessary depth to fully understand her. Or maybe that she wore one and even though he understood what was beneath, he knew she still kept that measure private.
The other is...the last six lines, which brings the real focus of the poem into play...how can we ever know someone? We all wear veils. I search, we question, we attempt to know...but can we ever? And of course some people, like the woman keeping her veil, they are not open to being understood.
"As we walk away from this beauty in white shadows,
arm in arm,"
You show intimacy there yet clearly show it is not enough to grasp the understanding to the depth required by the speaker:
"and wonder
if I will ever truly know you."
I wrote a story once, "Yemassee The Scrivener" Yes, I am egotistical and name my characters after myself sometimes, lol. In the story he finds that though he loves his wife he's come to the realization that he can never truly understand her. That there is indeed that veil between them...between all men? that keeps them from a true depth that he wishes to find. I guess I hinted there that it is an unreachable goal and I guess I reiterate that here.
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This is so well penned gal! It made me feel the agony and the ecstacy in the moment it was formed as a sculpture. To the beauty and the innocence and also her faith. Loved it. Love C
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Wow! This is really well penned. I like the transitioning or the phasing of thoughts and imagery.
Excellent
Thanks for sharing.
HENSLEY
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This is so beautiful! I really got wrapped up in the story and wonderful flow of this, and felt the brushing of the lace at the end. Excellent!
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such a well done dimension here of seeing and being, and the thoughts we take away with us from art as every other experience, we learn and feel things, and think...I like this a lot...excellent work...PK
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